How do I get my boyfriend's parents to like me?

Whoa, I didn’t know girls have this problem too. I thought it was always the girlfriend’s parents hating the boyfriend because they think the boyfriend is always bad/wants to take advantage of the girl or w/e. good luck! :)

It seems like you all have tried and tried. It’s not your fault. It’s crazy that their parents say and do these things because all they are trying to do is ‘love and support’ their child. Trying to do ‘what’s best’ for their child. In other words, they are controlling and miserable, trying to live vicariously through their kids and making decisions for the child. It’s a disaster. It may seem like the family will never change. And they probably won’t. Have you considered whether your boyfriend sticks up for you to his family? Or is he just giving them fuel by staying silent or obeying their wishes. If he is still living under their roof, then they are still going to be a huge influence on his life no matter how close or important you are to him. They will almost try to make you out to be the monster when in actual fact they are the ones creating all the drama. You would have no problems if they just butted out right? I bet you have sleepless nights and dread the thought of seeing his family.. So what do you do? Use tactics. You have obviously been talking about it to your partner which would be tearing them up inside feeling pressured to take sides. So stop. Talking about it is good, but if you don’t approach it directly to the person you are having problems with, you are creating drama too by gossiping! If you too give them fuel, by reacting in any way thats negative, then you won’t win. It’s such a sad reality that it is a ‘competition’ because they don’t accept you. You’re a good person right? So are they. It hurts to say that, but EVERY person is good in some way. So what is going on then? They may feel threatened that you are taking away their son, so maybe make light compliments to them, after all, they have raised an amazing son right? They must be doing something right! Try to look at it in a new angle. I’m of the view point that if one of my friends is smart, reliable, trustworthy, committed etc. then I assume that their partner will be much the same and I won’t need to worry. It’s the ‘I’m sure he’s got to be a nice boy because she wouldn’t go out with him otherwise’. But then there are different people, those who may have insecurities- for example, your boyfriend.. Does he have insecurities, confidence issues, hard to make decisions, or always tries to please everyone else before himself? His parents see him as something prescious, (keep in mind, they raised him to have these personality traits), but they, the protectors, are afraid that he might not be capable of making an educated big decision like choosing a life partner, so they will try to choose for them. Especially for mums it may be hard, have you ever heard that you don’t get along with people who are similar to you? AHHH it scares me too!! But in this respect, you are competition, you are becoming their precious babies number one in life instead of them to which takes time to come to terms with. They won’t care about their childrens partners unless they see it as serious.. Therefore they will treat that old trashy ex like treasure because well, she won’t be around forever!! And if the family are ‘close’,(I put that in commas because the close I mean is interferring in each others life way way too much!)you are ‘ruining’ their sanctuary. Therefore you will be to blame for anything and everything that could possibly happen thats bad in their family, ie. fights! even when you’re not around and aren’t part of the conversation I will guarantee that you will come up in the conversation! So… what to do… If you want to be with this guy, the fact is, their family may never change. The liklihood of that happening is slim.. Stand up for yourself. Maybe try to be a part of it… like inviting them out to do something with you guys instead of waiting for that daunting get together for a birthday dinner… Maybe talk to your boyfriend about moving out of the home.. not necessarily with you if there are certain religious beliefs. As I said. It’s not you, and you have to consider your health. Can you deal with it? are you willing to accept it? These are questions only you can answer. Hope I helped…

ok My boyfriends Father hates me because I have two Children, He doesnt want his son to be with me at all, he even tried to get his cousin to break us up. what do I do???

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now.. And I have no clue as to why they dissapprove of me so much. His last girlfriend was aboslutely crazy.. Was on drugs.. treated him terribly.. left him with crazy cellphone debt.. and Yet.. they treated her like gold. Then I come along.. I dont drink, or do drugs. He’s 22, and I’m 18. Now, the problem is.. He’s christian, and I’m not. If me and him move in together, of which we’re planning to do.. He’ll lose his deacon status in the church.. At first I thought the church he’s apart of was amazing. Now they’re seeming more and more of a cult. I don’t know what to do about his parents.. I’ve never done anything wrong.. And they treat me like im a misfit..

We dont know why there like this, He has asked them and they wont give him an answer. And I have gone to dinner with them a few times like for his birthday and brothers birthday, but its always really wierd like they either talk about really wierd random stuff, or wont talk to me at all…

Hes the youngest he has a brother 22 sister 17 and hes 15… They couldnt care less about emily his sister and her boyfriend but, they randomly ture on me. One minuet they will be friendly and all and the next there yelling at him for no reason to get off the phone and do this and that and saying we cant hand out or anything…

I just dont get it?

I have a huge problem, I am in love with this guy who is christian. I am not religious at all. his parents don’t even want to see me once, since they got the idea that I am a bad girl. they heard from rumors that I got lots of bfs before, which is somehow true. but I am in love with their son now and I am really serious about it. I can’t erase my past, I can’t get to see his parents to let them know more about me. I am not the girl from 2 years before, I have changed my lifestyle and I am loyal to him only. I want his parents to know that people can change, but they don’t want us te be together. they don’t want to give me a chance to prove myself to them. his parents have a huge control on my boyfriend, because he is their youngest precious child and they are his financial support. he is scared that if he chooses me, his parents will be angry at him and he doesn’t want to fight with them about me. I don’t know what to do…because I am so deeply in love with him, I can’t live without him. please help me!

I think maybe, as you are both so young, they consider your relationship of something like ‘puppy love’ Im sure they don’t hate you at all, but find it difficult to deal with their son having a girlfriend so young. When you are around his parents try your best to be polite, kind and honest.

There is a chance that his parents are not allowing you to hang out because of something he has done, maybe as a punishment - rather than their dis-like of you.

All I can suggest is to not take it personally. Never be rude to them, and if you feel as if they are leaving you out, try to involve yourself, or just listen to the conversation. you have to rememeber that as the youngest, you two may not have experianced what your parents have experianced therefore putting a gap between you all.

I hope this helps!

I’m in the same boat. He and his family are christian and I’m not. His family doesn’t accept that. They have always treated me really nice to my face, but my boyfriend never tells me good things they say about me when I’m not there… They have even told him on more than one occasion that they don’t approve of our relationship and that they don’t want us together… How do I fix this?! its come to the point where I don’t want to go over to their house, and when I do for dinner I just don’t talk.

There is nothing worse then a significants others’ parents hating you… I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years exactly.His parents hate me less and less. I’ve only been over there about 10 times in over 2 years and they refuse to invite me to holidays! his sister, mom, dad, cousins, aunts, grandparents, and NEIGHBORS hate me. I know why though… Because I have tattoos and peircings. I’ve been nice, honest, helpful and they are stil awful people. But I continue to go around to prove I’m here to stay. I wrote his family e-mails, I called his mom and had coffee! I even went to a park with him and his parents… Nothing. Now all of them are seeing a shrink b/c I’m still here… Keep your head up. Continue to love him. Don’t let his parents bring you down. Just approach her. Ask her to lunch. The worst she’ll say is no. Atleast then you’re the bigger person and you tried…

I have been dating my boyfriend for about more than 7 years now and I still don’t get along with his parents. In the past I would say hi whenever I see them but they would either just look at me or ignore me. They’re very rude! Also, his father would always stare at me like he wants to hit me or something. It’s so annoying! I don’t even know what I did wrong. I’ve actually stopped coming over to their house a couple of years ago because I’ve always felt unwelcome. So I just avoid them. I love my boyfriend and of course I wanted to get along with his family but I felt like I was never even given a chance. What’s even worse is my boyfriend is letting them treat me that way. Tried to talk to him about it but he wouldn’t even listen. So I stopped caring ‘because that’s what he told me to do instead of fixing it but it still gets to me sometimes. Plus I wanna have a family with him so yeah in a way I wanna get along with them.

So I used to give them presents every Christmas for 2 years I think and then I stopped when I stopped caring. But now I’m thinking of giving them presents again this year but I’m not sure. Should I?

Ok. I don’t have this problem because my boyfriends parents love me! Here is some advice that will help you. If you haven’t talked to your boyfriend about it yet I would..it shouldn’t be embaressing for either of you if your truly in love. If you already did try this, although it’s stupid it’s the truth. What do his parent’s hate about him? My boyfriend’s parents hate his grades so I help him study for exams. So let’s say your boyfriend’s problem is his diet..Go on a diet with him you will prove to the parent’s you want what’s best for your man & well there little boy. I hope this helped… (:

Me and my boyfriend love each other but we cant be together because his mom dont like me and we been going out for 4 weeks now and we had to break up yeasterday

I have a a problem somewhat like that.. my boyfriend is 22 and I’m 19… his dad likes me hes taken me out to a party/concert with my boyfriend and his girlfriend… I’ve met my boyfriends mom years ago because she was talking to my dad and she is my aunts friend but have never talked to her after me and my boyfriend got together because she moved… so they are not the problem the problem is his grandparents from his dads side his grama is a little out of wack you can say she never even liked his mom.. his dad is an only child and his grama was always over protective of his dad just like she is of him.. the lady told him that I was a waist of time and that I was ganna leave him for someone in america…(my boyfriend lives in my home town in portugal and I am in the US I plan to get my degree and go back)… I have said in front of her numerous times that I plan on going to live in portugal but the lady thinks hes ganna run away to go live in the US with me.. honestly he wanted to but I said I was going to go back and he agreed to wait for me… Now his granpa thats even worst the first thing he said was sweet he said : claud are you dateing that cute girl you were hanging out with at “the band”? and at the time we where only really good friends so he said “not yet” so hes grampa replys ok good because you are to young to be stuck.. ok wtf hes 22… so then a year goes by and my boyfriend comes to my house I was liveing alone… so he comes over at 5am… crying his eyes out he had been avoiding me all day and we lived like 3 blocks away.. so its 5am and its raining like crazy and there he is at my door crying to I let him in and I asked what was wrong and he says my grandparents dont want us to be together they think im going to stop going to college for you and that you are cheating on me (witch I clearly didnt even have time to because I was always with him or we were texting all the time even when we were in classes) and they wanted him to brake up with me.. he told his grandparents he loved me and it wasnt ganna happen… and they said they would take his house away (he lives alone) and that they would take the car and stop paying for school… I of course knew they were blufing because they didnt like my boyfriends mom and there son still married her and they didnt take anything away from him… well that night claud broke up with me I cryed so hard I fell he gave me water and tried to calm me down and then I finaly let him leave after he left I cryed so much I threw up 3 times I maneged to clean the mess I made get dressed and called my friend she could barly understand me over my crying so I started to walk outside to walk to my friends in the rain it was 5 something AM and I had woken her up.. im 19 my friend is 30… so as soon as I get outside I see claud sitting there all wet still crying… and he says I’ve been sitting her to see if you turn off your lights and go to sleep but you havent.. so I tell him im going to my friends he hugs me and says “no you arent” I broke down crying even more… so half an hour goes by and he takes me inside he said I was ganna get sick but he was the one in the rain for like 2 or 3 hours… and my friend calls me and he answers my phone and she says where is she and started to yell at him he said he would stay with me till I calmed down and that he was really sorry about what happend and for her to go to bed… AND THIS IS WHY IM TELLING YOU ALL THIS… after we came inside we went to my living room and he told me he loved me and that he couldnt see himself without me even tho it had only been about an hour we were broken up that I was the most inportant thing that happend to him and that even tho his grandparents might stop doing everything they do for him that when he was out of college they coulnt control him anymore and that he would marry me and that we would have a family and that I was what was inportant that he never loved anyone like he loves me he said “I was made for you” THE POINT LADYS IS THEY DONT MATTER TO YOU BUT THEY MATTER TO YOUR MAN… SO JUST STICK WITH HIM DONT SHOW THEM you DISLIKE THEM WHEN IT COME DOWN TO IT AND you MARRY THAT MAN… THEY WILL SEE YOUR THERE TO STAY AND WE WILL SAY “JUST STOP IT SHES MY WIFE” AND EVEN IF THEY DONT LIKE YOU YOU’VE GOT HIM… AND IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL BE WITH you NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES AND EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO WAIT 3 OR 4 YEARS FOR HIM TO BE OUT OF COLLEGE/SCHOOL.. ITS GANNA BE WORTH IT because LOVE ALWAYS IS… IF HE LOVES YOU LADYS THEN U’LL ALWAYS BE HIS NUMBER ONE NO MATTER WHAT… AND MOST OF THE TIME THE PARENTS DONT HATE YOU THEY ARE JUST SCARED YOUR TAKING THERE BABY AWAY NO MATTER HOW OLD HE IS HES THERE SON AND THEY FREAK OUT IF IT WASNT YOU THAT HAD COME ALONG IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SOME OTHER POOR GIRL GOING THROW THE SAME MESS

know what your not the only one whose facing this problem… I had the sam prob some time back with my first guy.. not his mother hated me but wanted me to break up with him thinking that it might mess things with his studies ( bullshit). .. I had to anyways break up wuth him oz he didn’t want to continue it with his moher hated it… anways your lucky in a way that your guy doesnt want to stop it though his mother wants to …so just b good to his mom ( continue it you ‘ll never regret) who knows she ‘ll eventually start loving you like helll… just give time a little time … it will solve everything… btw how old are you guys???

tc thilzzz

Hi,

First I would try to talk to your boyfriend and find out WHAT misconceptions your boyfriend’s parents have about you. Have him ask him when you’re not around exactly why they disapprove. If it’s something like he is their first-born and they are overprotective, or they don’t believe in dating, then it’s not YOU, it would happen with ANY girl.

If it’s something specific, i.e. they don’t think you’re serious enough, or smart enough, or whatever-enough, then prove them wrong. See if your boyfriend can convince them to invite you to dinner, and then show them that they’re wrong through your attitude and actions.

Sometimes a little communication makes all the difference!

Wow! And I thought I was the only one with problems. WOW!

Well, lets see me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a couple months and I see him every weekend. (Considering that we live 15 miles away from each other.) But anyway, here I am still with my problem.

Ok, you see his mom loves me and even takes care of me when I’m sick makes me soups and gives me medicines and all this other shit and I’m so happy for that. BUT,his dad absolutely HATES me. He told my boyfriend that I cheated on him, that I wasnt good enough for him, and all this shit. And lately I’ve been scared to go to his place because I’m scared of what his dad will do or say to me. He never talks to my face really but gives me this evil stare all the time. AND I HAVENT EVEN DONE ANYTHING WRONG! IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE! I love my boyfriend so much and don’t want to lose him because of his dad but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Please help.

HEY:P my boyfriend’s mother dont even like me a little! at first, his sister talked to me when we are in the school (my boyfriend,his sister,brother and me are in the same school before, but now he and his brother transferred to another school.) her sister tried to get my mobile number at first! but we all did’nt have a pen so she asked for my landlinenumber instead. It’s already past9 in the evening so I think his mother won’t call me. but after thinking of it his mother called me!! She told me that me and his baby SON should drift apart because I was only 13 and his son was only 16. She said that we need to study first and when we turn college and still like each other, she would respect that and it’ll okay for her. she said we need to be friends for now. so I said YES! but I didn’t broke up with his son. After 1week, a big school near us had an event. Many of my schoolmates came. So they saw us all. I dont even bother cause I know they dont care! But my boyfriend’s exgirlfriend whose bestfriend was his sister saw us! and her other friends saw us too. The day after that, his mother called me. but I was still sleeping so my grandmother talk to her. and she was asking for my address! luckily, they didn’t tell her our address. She was like SO MAD AT ME! because she told me that im a LIAR. Gosh. Dunno what to do!

so.. I think I win for the most parental hatred.

my boyfriend and I will be going out for a year next week! things are amazing and were so in love and he’s perfect. but, his parents have never seemed very accepting of me. I try to connect with his mom, and talk to his dad. nothing seems to work. a big problem is, his parents want him with another girl. their parents are best friends and they always talk about their daughter and my boyfriend getting married one day. how does that make me feel? they think those two are perfect for each others and im completely wrong for him because were complete polar opposites. the funny thing is.. his parents are so different too! hypocrits.. but things get worse. we’ve been trying to decide whether to have sex or not. and one day my boyfriend was in the shower and he left his phone in the open. his mom is crazy protective and shes always looking through his stuff and his phone. previously before his shower, we were talking about having sex. and guess what.. she read everything! so she freaks out, calls my house and tells my parents. my parents talk to me, and now we cant hang out, go to prom, or even talk outside of school. we’re trying to make things work but its gonna be realllyyy hard.

so do I win?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three year and half and I freaking hate her mom..shes the type of mom who likes to control all her kids..she likes it when they listen to her and I find that she abuses them..my boyfriend is the youngest..which makes it worst because shes his little baby and everyone else is all growing ..the oldest 24 left..the second brother 22 left..the sister 20 left too and my boyfriend 19 its the only left in the house ..and he cant leave because he hardly work so shes the one giving him all the money and pays for everything but I find that by doing all that he has to be nice to her. I hate her and I know she hates me just by how we look at each other I can tell and I dont care im the one that loves him son not her. but it pissed me off that she say im going to buy you a car so you will come home and not stay at her house or..im going to send you to vancouver …and I know she wants to that so well break up …and I dont speak their language but understand because its been 3 years and shes always saying bad thing which I understand but act like I dont and it pisses me more. and shes always like she put it on him to make him feel bad but she does it like evry single day! even on our anniversary and she knows its our anniversary. its like shes doing it on purpose..I know its because hes the youngest . but the only thing I want to do to prove her shes stupid its to marry him and have a life with him. shes mad at me cause I took her baby out of her because she has no one else left..the only advice I have for you guys its DONT CARE!! I dont care I dont act nice or anything I just dont care and you guys should do the same thing because your the one marrying his son not them because you fell in love with their son and not with them. let them talk and once hell move out with you they wont have anything to say

Wow, gang, we’re a hated bunch haha.

My boyfriend and I met at college and had a WONDERFUL relationship, but the next semester he couldn’t afford the school. I live in Texas where we went to school, he lives in Maryland… so he had to go to Maryland, just for this semester. I went and visited his family for two weeks and was VERY polite and gracious as I was raised with that southern hospitality.

But because I didn’t ask them a lot of questions (as I was raised to believe that was rude) they think I am not an intellectual and therefore, not good enough for their son. They may not be telling him, but it also may be because I have my nose peirced and a tattoo on each wrist (I have more, but those are the only two they saw). So now, his parents have told them that he cannot call me. So here we are, in a freaking long distance relationship and not able to call one another. So he’s looking for a job so that way he can pay for his own phone. So we haven’t “talked” in over two weeks. But it’s not enough. She checked his phone bill and found out we were still texting.. hardly. And she flipped sh!t.

Now his parents are telling him that if he wants to be with me, they won’t give him a cent for anything in the future.. including school.

I don’t understand why they’d be THAT extreme, when I was so nice and helpful and everything. If I make their son happy and aren’t hurting them, WHAT should it matter. He knows I’m an intellectual, that I am just “shy” I suppose, but SERIOUSLY. Why would they be SO DAMN EXTREME?!

His dad even sent him an email and was like, “I signed you up for some dating sites to get away from that girl. Here are the links, the user names and passwords.” and they’ve tried setting him up with multiple girls.

I want to try and change their mind and prove them wrong, but if they’re this extreme I don’t know if it’s possible :/

Honestly, I have nothing but adoration, care, and love for him, and I want to be with him so badly… but not if it means that he won’t get the schooling he needs. I just want whats best for him.

I just hate to think we’d have to break up because of his parents irrational misconception of me.

my boyfriends dad loves me, but his mom. I don’t really talk to her, I guess? like what in the world do I talk to her about

I have the same problem, but I’m a lot younger.. his parents don’t want him dating. but it’s not just that. the guy I’m with now’s mom is friends with my ex boyfriends mom. She somehow got it in her head that my mom is an alcoholic nut case and would never let him come over. I guess his mom must of talked to her because the other day his mom asked about my exboyfriend.. they think that I “always seem to have a boyfriend” I really don’t… It’s just weird she’s judging me without even knowing me. and he doesn’t nessicarily want me to meet her. I don’t understand why. My last boyfriend had the same argument. I’m always nice, and all of my friend’s parents LOVE me.. but never boyfriend’s parents.. I just dont get it!

hey, well I am kinda in the same boat. we have been dating for 2 years. my boyfriends parents hate me because we fell asleep watching a movie at his house. except his parents wont even let us hangout or anything. its dumb and I dont know what to do to get them to like me either. I try so hard, I do a lot of sweet and totally random acts of kindness but nothing seems to work. I dont know what to do about it and I really need some help. I love my boyfriend more than anything. and we want to be together but his parents are making it very hard.

-frusterated. :(

So I have the same problem. I’ve absolutely and completely in love with my boyfriend. He is everything I’ve ever wanted AND MORE. I’ve never been in love & never really had a serious boyfriend until him. The other two were less than 2 months long….as you can see I was never really big into dating. BUT. My boyfriend’s parents have it in their mind that I am a terrible person. That i’m only with their son for what I get out of it…keep in mind he has 2 part time jobs, pays himself to go to school full time, pays for a beautiful car, insurance, cell phone, & other things he deems necessary to have. Everything but a few meals & a house to live in basically. So you can tell exactly how MUCH I get from him materialistically speaking. (which is perfectly fine with me, only makes us stronger.)They constantly yell at him for being lazy…um….what part of what I just told you is lazy? He can go out with me\see me one time a week for FOUR HOURS unless we go to Disney (where he works)? ….They judge me from everything they supposedly “heard” from “trust-able” sources. I’ve never smoked or drank or partied a day in my life. But according to their sources, I do all the time. They believe it. OH & btw, his Dad doesnt like me because I am fat. (I happen to be a little chunky nothing ridiculous, like wtheck?) He’s 19 years old and they treat him like he’s 12. The kid is amazing. I’m serious. He puts up with so much crap for me, idk how he does it, but he gets through it. I love him so much & his whole family too, I just wish they didn’t make it so hard for us. Mainly him!

So the only thing I know to do is: -Try to sit down and talk to them. at least you can say you tried. -Email them\call them on the phone to talk. -Try to go over & show them how wonderful you are. (manners, laughter, fun, maturity…) -Try to get on the other family member’s good side & hope they help convince the parents. -Wait it out and do as they say -COMPLETELY OVERTHROW THEIR SYSTEM AND DO WHAT YOU WANT! (Just kidding….wish that worked) -Definitely definitely definitely PRAY. -Just smile and be happy, brush it off your shoulder that his parents don’t like you. Hope that maybe one day they’ll see how wonderful you really are.

I’m sure you’ve thought of this all…but that’s all I can think of. I really hope it gets better for you. I know how you feel & it stinks!

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months now. His mom isn’t the problem, actually, she loves me. As do his sisters, and neices/nephews. Even his stepmom likes me! But his dad absolutely has it out for me. Months ago after leaving his house I had forgotten to wave/say goodbye as I was leaving. I understand that he was upset by this, but I haven’t been over there since it happened. 5 months ago… His parents never said goodbye to me, of acknowledged my existence when I said it, so you wouldn’t think that one time would be a big deal. Once when I saw his stepmom in public, in the first few weeks of daring, I didn’t wave because I didn’t recognize her. I wasn’t allowed to see him for a week after that. But recently I met his mom and went to their house for his nephews birthday party, we asked his dad if it was okay with him that we went over there two days in a row, and he said yes. But the day after he starts flipping out and saying that my boyfriend threw it in his face -about going to his moms-. My boyfriend hadn’t seen his mom in 4 months before this, and his dad still thought it was wrong. We’re not allowed to see each other until further notice. I have tried many times to fix the bond with his dad. But he says that I have changed his son, because he doesn’t spike his hair, and he’s never home. Honestly, he looks more mature without spiking it, and I got his son a job so he doesn’t always have to provide for him. His dad is the kind of person who is extremely power-hungry. His kids almost never stand up to him because of how he treats them. They have tried to stand up for me many times, but it never goes anywhere. His father has literally said that he would destroy our relationship if he has too. I have tried as much as I could think of. His father hates me, and I don’t think that will ever change. He knows I don’t do things that I shouldn’t, yet tells his son that he deserves better. As far as I’m concerned, from now on it’s not going to be a priority.