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How do I choose between two guys?

I’ve been dating two guys. Both very sweet, upstanding men that I have so much fun with and would be proud to have by my side. I’ll describe both and then maybe you can help me decide.

1 - high school crush that I finally have talked to after 10 years. He’s so kind, close to his family, actually takes care of his elderly parents, loves animals and children and wants to get married. He’s a computer tech and very financially stable. He texts me all day just to say hi. He’s really into me and says he loves me.

2 - an old friend of mine who I’ve dated off and on the last 10 years. But anytime we start to get serious, me or him, meet somebody and we stop talking. We have SO much fun together and act almost childish with each other. We are very close friends. I care about him deeply and I know he cares about me. He’s also a millionaire and has been talking about buying a house for us to live in. (so I know he’s serious about us being together). And he’s close with his family, children, and animals, which matters to me.

How do I choose? They both have great qualities that I’m deeply attracted to. I just don’t want to hurt either one. Any suggestions?

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Answer #1

Hmmm, well, you said the second guy you dated on and off for the past few years, so maybe the first guy deserves a shot? I mean, he’s already told you he loves you. Although, it sounds like you and the second guy have a lot of history together, so maybe he’s where your heart has been all along? Or maybe because of all the history you have together, you’re scared that you’ll hurt his feelings and lose him again?

I can’t tell you who to choose. I can only say pick the one who makes you happiest, the one who treats you right, the one you can’t stop thinking about. Pick the one you can look back on with no regrets.

There’s a quote written by Stephen King which is: The mind can calculate, but the spirit yearns, and the heart knows what the heart knows. I tend to think, in your heart, you know who you want, but you’re afraid to follow it.

Answer #2

Well first of all, you can’t do this without hurting anyone. It’s either one or the other. I’d pick the stable relationship with the guy who you were attracted to for 10 years. Option 1. Because the second relationship doesn’t sound too stable, and feels like it may fall apart. You’ve said that when you get serious in the second relationship, you end up not talking. And that’s what a couple needs to do, communicate. If you don’t communicate after getting serious the future doesn’t look too bright.

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