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Sorry but this is going to be long I have to explain it all. My Aunt is a retired 5th grade teacher she was a teacher for most of her life. She has been extreamly helpfull twards me in some aspects and I am glad to have her, just wish things were different. The fact that she treats me like a 5th grader really bothers me I am in my 20's, hello 5th grade was like 10yrs ago. For instance I have lived on my own over the past 5 years but still kept in touch. She lives in a richy white suburban area where there isn't a lot of traffick. I live in a ghetto brick apartment building and take the public bus every day, with the wellfare mothers of 10 kids, the drug addicts, and the creepy smelly old guys. When she comes to pick me up she always locks her doors I don't understand and this is whats got me ticking...I used to go to disney land with her every summer when I was little, then when I was 19 she invited me to go. At that time I had my lisence and thought it was agreed that I could get a rental car so I wouldn't have to stay in the theme park. The whole week I was stuck in disney hell I had to hold her hand when we crossed the road, every time I went to the restroom she had to come with me because something might happen to me, also I was unable to to anything that a 19yr old would want to do. When I was 19 I lived by myself working 2 jobs and paying rent electric and my phone bill. When ever I go to visit her I can't watch a movie unless it's rated PG, this is crazy! It's like she lives in a fantasy land and doesn't realise things that happen in the world. Why is she treating me this way? If I ever have to talk to her about something important she just blocks it out and pretends that I'm a 5th grader. I'm in my 20's and I feel that I am responsible but her treating me like this makes it seem like I'm not an adult. I have something I need toher about that is very important but I think she will make me feel immature and by her acting this way it doesn't encourage me to take on the responsibilities of an adult. How can I make her see me for me and not as a 5th grader?
She was a 5th grade teacher for at least 40 years, she is now in her 60's and is stuck in a fantasy land, she is alergic to animals with furr meaning cats and dogs.
I really like the idea of taking her to a councilor when I have adult issues I want to explain, but I have a stong feeling that she would treat we like a child when I tell her we have an appointment. I think that when I tell her I'm an adult she takes it as a joke because I have told her this and it hasn't gotten through yet.
For example what am I going to do If I decide to get married, or move out of state, or have kids,or take on any other adult situation...I can hear it now, her calling my mother and asking how could she let this happenor worse and blame her self for me growing up.
If she doesn;t have anybody else to 'take care of' like grand children or neices/nephews, then I suggest just letting her treat you like this. Its annoying and frustrating and silly, I know. But she is lonesome and lacking somebody to nurture. You could talk to her about getting a puppy or a kitten- That would work.
If she has other children around her, then you could just try telling her. Look, Aunty, I'm not a kid anymore. I live by myself, Pay my own bills, I work, and haven't been to school for ___ years.
Do you have brothers or sisters that she treats like this too? If so, I think its just her not wanting to let go. Shes probably just scared of being alone and getting older. I'm really going for the puppy idea.
Well, don't get her a puppy, no matter what...
You didn't say how old she is...62? 82? She might not feel safe due to age if she's older, and is transferring that on to you...making it seem that she's afraid for you, when in reality she's afraid for herself. That doesn't wash, tho for the PG movies...
I think you need to sit down with her...in her own home...and softly and sweetly remind her that you're an adult now. That you appreciate her loving concern, but that you make decisions for yourself every single day, and have thus far, done very well.
She may be stuck in the past...not wanting to let go...
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I like that idea of telling her important things infront of a councellor, not sure how she would feel about it. There are kids in my familiy and a lot younger than me, I never really paid attention to how she acted around them, I am an only child and she doesn't have kids. The puppy idea would be golden because I remmber what training my dog was like, she was just like a little kid... but unfortunately I think my aunt has allergies when it comes to the furry creatures. and yes she does seem a bit lonely and misses her students, but I was never one of them.
it could possibly be because she either wants kids/cant have kids or likes having soemone around who she can take care of your obviously able to take care of yourelf but maybe shes lonely and still thinks/wishes you were a kid? either way to find out you might need to suggest taking her to a councellor so you can both talk to each other with another person present or just keep telling her your not a kid anymore, and while you do appreciate her help, a lot of things you can do by yourself
she probably just doesnt want to let the child you go because she has no one else to baby...or maybe she doesnt realize what shes doing??? she was a teacher for how long??? before you talk to her about whatever it is you want to talk to her about have a conversation with her telling her your not a child anymore and do not wish to be treated like one anymore
give her a puppy...something to take care of so her attention will be directed off of you
