Help to draft the below english letter

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• Answer #1

  Dear ___ (insert father-in-law’s name). I am writing to you to communicate my disappointment and express some concerns I have been experiencing in regards to my marriage. First, I would like to start off by saying I love tn very much. (I would elaborate this point a little more). I am writing to you because I love my wife and child very much, and I want to save my marriage. I am hoping for your help in resolving the conflicts we have been recently been experiencing. Several things have come to my attention since we have moved to au in 2007. I have noticed a decline in tn’s participation in household activities. My early morning routine involves waking up early, making breakfast, ironing my clothes and then leaving for the office. During the first few months after we moved, tn would wake up early at least once or twice a week. In the past year, this has completely stopped. She usually does not wake up till 10-11 am, which is when yb wakes up. Taking into consideration that it may have been difficult for her to wake up early after the pregnancy, I have never compelled her to do so; however, it seems to me that she should make an effort to wake up before I leave, at least a few times a week, to show some kind of care. As my responsibilities are outside the home, I believe that it is her responsibility to take care of the home, including the cooking and laundry. Is this unreasonable? To continue outlining a regular workday, Sn gets up between 10:30 -11am and it takes her several hours to feed him his breakfast. At his age, he needs to have a healthy breakfast (including eggs, milk, meat etc.,) but she never prepares anything healthy, nor has she ever made any effort to learn to prepare anything healthy. Sometimes when I get a chance to go home for lunch break, most of time I find that the food is not cooked and have had to return with some snacks or after preparing myself an egg. I have repeatedly requested she learn to cook food items I enjoy, but she does not seem to be the least bit interested in taking my preferences into account. Until now she has not learnt about my like/dislikes and never made effort to do so, and most of the time the food is not of my liking or taste. I have asked her to make roti for myself and sn once in a week but the requests go unheeded. Several times I have bought wheat to have it thrown into waste bin. Most of time (at least 3-4 times a week), I have to get the food from restaurant. I have stopped asking her to improve on this, as she does not seem to care. After my lunch break, she starts to feed sn. As sn has already eaten chips or chocolate, he is not hungry, and the process of trying to feed him takes 3-4 hours. I usually return from office late (after 7pm). Often, I see that nothing has moved. All the items on the dinning table remain unmoved, and in the kitchen remain untouched. It often gets to the point where the kitchen, bathroom and the rest of the house is unclean for weeks. I have provided her with the number of a maid to get the house cleaned (this costs $70 for 2 hours), but she says that getting maid to clean the house adds more to her work. I am finding it difficult tolerating living in a dirty house, and I am unsure how to reason with her about this. I don't believe that this is a normal routine in other houses and I feel it is a complete mis-management. I hope you can understand my frustrations and see why it is really making me mad. 




  Now, it isnt perfect, because I would need a lot longer to make it acceptable to my standards (it takes me forever to do anything), but take this as a jumping off point. I'd reorganize it a bit so things are lumped together (like the routine, your complaints, house dirty etc). I have not edited the rest of it, because well I cannot agree with it, and thus we will agree to view things differently. I understand that where you come from, a wife needs to not talk back to her husband, but I live in a different world and the words will not come out. I wish you luck. I'm not sure what you want your father in law to do, but I hope things work out with your wife! oh and I wouldnt phrase it as what is her problem. I would put it something like, a marriage requires compromise and sacrifice on both ends, and it feels to me as though I have made sacrifices and have compromised, but she is not willing to reciprocate (you dont want them getting defensive, he is her father, dont forget that)

  Also, she argues on everything , related to sn or any other thing...she should learn to understand how to talk and respect her husband.. 


She is only considered about her land in btn and about gold jewellery and any future investments etc 

I fought for her with my parents and this is what I am getting in return? For more than a year, I use to drive to bai for her driviling license...and also considering the amount and time spent on it...was that part of my basic responsibilities? But I did because I care for her.. But she is least bothered about my sacrifices which I have made for her... 

When she was staying in my parents house, she had complained about overloaded with household and now what is her problem? She doesn't even care forme as if I am nothing???

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• Answer #2

  I am going to assume sn is also your son? (and you've only got one son)

  uhm honestly, there's no good reason anyone should get up at 10, my mother worked while she was pregnant, and went back to work shortly after she had me, and my mother was VERY sick, she really shouldnt have had any kids.

  anyhow, give me a few minutes, and I'll get back to you

• Answer #3

  actually, I m writing this to my father in law...and wud like to convey him that my wife doesnt take care of me as being a housewife ...she has only one thing to do in the entire day just to cook food and take care of the kids but that also she cudnt do...I kept patience for long but now I have to convey it to her father...

• Answer #4

  thnx a lot for helping me as I m not very good at drafting emails and really need to communicate it to her father and is very shy to do.. also, I do love her and my son as well and want her back ...I get annoyed when food is not ready when I m back from work and I had to get up and make my breakfast etc...

• Answer #5

  Hi, difference betwen my wife has been resolved now and I spoke to her ..so I dont know if shud send this email to her father or try to talk to her and wait patiently?

• Answer #6

  ok, I think it got most of it, but I dont know who yb is, and who would you like to write this letter to, and what are you trying to accomplish by writing the letter?

• Answer #7

  You're going to have to be more specific, I dont know who you're talking about? Are you talking about your wife and child?

• Answer #8

  yes, it abt my wife and child

• Answer #9

  excellent, thnx a lot

• Answer #10

  yb is son

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