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help me I'm going crazy whats wrong with me??? please help

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okay so I am 14 years of age I weight around 120 pounds (I guess) and my height is about 5'1... so its been a year I been doing this... I think I am very big... I make myself purge after eating a whole lot of food... I feel like I need to lose weight and a whole lot of it... I take diet pills in older to not gain weight... I feel worthless/helpless... I hate how I look I want to change the way I look... I take pills like laxtives and stuff for I dont have to gain more pounds I feel so ugly everyday when I look at myself... I dont know whats wrong with me??? do you know whats wrong with me??? please help!!!