Is he trying to get over me or just needing space?

First I think you should know he is 24 and I am 29yrs old. Two weeks ago everything was great with my boyfriend and I, we were about to buy a house and he was even going to propose! I was on top of the world...but ever since he started his new job with new hours ( where I barely saw him anymore) he became more distant. The more distant he became the more I reached out for him..he told me that he was suffocating and needed some space. Well I must not have known the severity of it because on Thursday I left work early to confront him about some girls from work texting him in the middle of the night and he said he was working on a surprise for me and to have faith( because he works evenings so he's up late now). He said I am always prying and don't trust him. Well this fighting led to him breaking up with me and he moved out that night..the next day he called me in the morning and said he still loved me but things were going so fast with us he just felt suffocated and needs time, and he asked me out on a date on Sunday. Well Saturday night he told me that he isn't ready yet and canceled our date. When I asked him that I thought we were going to try dating he said " he just isn't ready yet and if I want us to work I need to relax and just give him some time and space". All of his friends are just as shocked as me and say he still loves me but I don't know what to do. I do have insecurity issues which lead to jealousy and all of his friends( who are my friends too) say he is a real stand up guy and isn't the sleeping around/cheating kind of guy. I don't know what to do, if I give him space will he just forget about me or will he come back to me? Things were sooo great up until a week ago so I don't know what to do..he keeps going out with his friends everynight and still talks to those girls from work but as much as he hates work dramas, I don't know if he would risk it by dating a co worker...help me please, I love him so much and just want my life back..I can't think of anything else. Is he trying to get over me or does he just need to figure out his life??

3 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 3

Dear lostandconfused,
Well I think him leaving didn't step just from one incident. You stated you had problems with jealousy and insecurities. His new hours at work can be a real problem if he works nights and you work days but if he isn't wanting to be with you when he is home, pushes you away and does not want to spend time with you then there is a huge problem. Saying he feels suffocated and needs space is pretty vague. You need a heart to heart talk with him about just what has happened. It is also very strange that he would move out like that unless it has been building to this point for a while??? So perhaps there were many more difficulties you didn't mention in this question. Either way, a talk is in order and if you both agree to still be together some counselling. If he choose not to get back together I suggest some counselling for yourself to get over your insecurities and jealousy. I get the feeling this could have more to do with the break up then you stating.
Sue...good luck


ANSWER #2 of 3

Give him time, let him out of your mind for a while. Go out with your friends join clubs, anything to get him from your mind for a few weeks. He just wants to take a step back to see where his life is going he probibly feels your moving too fast. Don't appear clingy or needy. Maby give him a week without contact and then ring him?
Im sure he would probibly ring you before the week is out.
Sorry if this isn't any help.

My ex needs space
ANSWER #3 of 3

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We are both young and need space

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