Well she absolutely hates him to start off with. And she has this idea in her brain that I can't be happy if she isn't(she actually told me this).. She's had lots of issues in her past. And another fun fact is that she was the one that introduced us saying that he was a really cool guy and I just had to meet him. And when we met I really don't think us actually liking each other and wanting to be together was part of her equation. It's gotten so bad that she's always talking down to him, and to our mutual friends about him, and most importantly to me about him. She actually just caused a friendship of ours to fall through because she called to see if we would give her a ride to another town and asked for 4 dollars for gas. It's getting really ridiculous with her and I'm getting tired of having to always do things the way that she wants them to happen. I don't want to be her door mat anymore.
In all honesty, I personally wouldn't care what my sister thought of my partner. If she doesn't approve then fine, that's her problem. Not mine. I realize that you want change things with your sister, but in order for things to change, she NEEDS to want things to be different too. If she has her mind made up about him and just won't try, then there's very little you can do to change how she looks at him.
So.. my advice? Do what makes you happy. If she doesn't like it and isn't really giving you any legitimate reasons on why, then that's her problem. Not yours. You are an adult. Who you marry or get into a relationship with is your decision -- not hers. It's not your job to make her happy. YOU need to be happy. If you're happy with him, be with him. Don't let someone else step on your happiness.
Does she have a good reason to dislike him?
1. I am in your sister's position, I strongly dislike my own sister's future husband. You need to talk to her and see why she doesn't like your lover. She may know something about him/her that you may need to know or maybe she gets bad vibes from him.
2. She may feel like he's/she's in the way of you two and is ruining yalls relationship. Sometimes sister's know best. Just remember when you get mad at her and she gets mad at you, that you two need each other, she will be the shoulder you cry on when you and your lover fight.
Let her know that you love her and you'd do so much for her and that even if she doesn't like him/her, he/she makes you happy.
I can definately see what your saying but she honestly has no reason to not like him. He's always been nice to her. And her and I are like best friends so I see her alot. She was the one that introduced me to him saying he was oh so amazing.
And I have told these things you suggested. I even cried to her asking why she can't just let me be happy for once. (She's ruined ALL of my relationships. And that's not an exageration.)
If you feel like you're a doormat to her, them tell her that. Tell her that you will NOT put up with the hell she's bringing you and your lover. Tell her that you love her with all your heart and that you care about her but, you won't let this go on any longer and that if she doesn't stop that you will no longer be apart of her life until she straighten up. [That is a wake up call to most sisters.]
Tell her that you love them both. If she understands then she shouldn't make you chose between her or him. I was in a situation similar to that, but I guess it really depends on the circumstances. Tell me more?
Blood or not. Show her just how serious and sick you are about this whole thing. If she loves you, she'll learn to back off and let you be happy.
Tried that one before. I then get the we're blood tantrum.