Recommendations are your best bet. Therapists are people at the end of the day. Just like with any other person, you will connect with some easier than others. Some things to keep in mind. Do you have a preference for either male or female therapists? That is something you want to think about. Look into what they've specialized in. That tells you a lot about the therapist. Most therapists have specialities, although they will all do the general stuff as well (like no one specializes in depression or anxiety because they're so common that everyone learns to work with them). Look into their orientations. Most therapists these days are eclectic, but there are therapists who stick to more traditional talk therapy and then there are therapists who do alternative types of treatment. A therapist who says they're CBT is a lot different from a psychoanalytic therapist. Do you want to understand the reasons for what's going on, or do you just want to fix certain things. Your problem is also going to influence this. None is necessarily better, it is just a matter of personal preference. For example, if you tried to do energy stuff on me or asked me to talk to a chair and pretend someone was there, I would laugh at you. But that type of stuff works amazingly well with people who connect with it (and I'm not dismissing it, the empty chair technique has been researched and has been found to be effective). When you get recommendations, ask the person what the therapist is like. While therapists learn to be adaptable to their client's individual needs, at the end of the day, they still have their own personalities and that tends to come through. Some things to think about on your front. Are you ready for therapy? Sometimes people want help, but they're not ready for that change. There's little a therapist can do in that situation. Are you looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear? Therapists arent best friends and they're unlikely to tell you what you want to hear. Are you giving it a chance? Most people do not instantly bond, it takes a while for people to become familiar and comfortable with each other. Now this is a tough one. Because unlike trying on shoes which doesn't cost you money, while you're trying on therapists, it can become expensive. So I do understand the reluctance to continue to spend money on something that doesn't seem like it is going anywhere.
The only thing you can do is try out different therapists until you find one that you like, and understands you. That's what I did. You may have to go through a few, but it's worth it after you find a good one. Good luck! :)
I have went through 5 allready, its like they don't understand me, and I wasn't sure if that was normal that's the rason for the question
Try one or two. Also think of the age of the therapist that you would want, the gender etc. All these things make a difference.
And also like think of what you would be most conformable with.
Are you adding or asking?