Funniest joke you said/know/told

What is the funniest joke you have told,know,or said?

4 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 4

a man walks into his house at 7am in the morning with lipstick marks all over his clothes and face, messy hair!. his wife sez you better have a good excuse for walking in at this time. and he sez. like f**k there is! ...BREAKFAST!! my dad snet me that I think its funny(it actually happened!!!)


ANSWER #2 of 4

A blonde and a brunett where on ther way to heaven and the brunette asked the blonde "how did you die" ?

The blonde said "I had a heart attack, how about you"

And the brunette says "I froze to death, what caused your heart attack"

The blonde said "It started when I came home from work and I saw a womans car in the drive way"

"I rushed in to the house and asked my husband where are you hiding her"

"He said hiding who, but I started looking around the house, I was so angry I dropped to the floor."

Finally the brunette says "Damn!! If you had just looked in the freezer we'd both have lived.

--- I know its not that funny but it made me giggle..

Best April Fools joke?

ANSWER #3 of 4

a little old lady answers a knock at her door to be met by a travelling vacuum cleaner salesman.before she has a chance to say anything,the man tips horse sh#t over her hallway carpet and explains,madam if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of that horse sh#t from your carpet, I will eat whats left, well she says, I hope you're hungry because they cut my electricty off this morning!

What are some dirty or funny jokes?
ANSWER #4 of 4

Not the most funniest but its still funny:
"Newton's 1st law:every book continues to be in its state of rest or covered with dust, until and unless an external or internal exam appears"

" An interesting piece of info:
In the year 1981 ,
1.Prince Charles got married
2.Liverpool crowned champions of Europe
3.Australia lost ashes
4.Pope died

In the year 2005,
1.Prince Charles got married(again)
2.Liverpool crowned champions of europe(again)
3.Australia lost ashes(again)
4.Pope died(again)
Moral:in the future if Charles decides to re-marry please warn the Pope"

...

Funniest Joke You've Told

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