a man walks into his house at 7am in the morning with lipstick marks all over his clothes and face, messy hair!. his wife sez you better have a good excuse for walking in at this time. and he sez. like f**k there is! ...BREAKFAST!! my dad snet me that I think its funny(it actually happened!!!)
A blonde and a brunett where on ther way to heaven and the brunette asked the blonde "how did you die" ?
The blonde said "I had a heart attack, how about you"
And the brunette says "I froze to death, what caused your heart attack"
The blonde said "It started when I came home from work and I saw a womans car in the drive way"
"I rushed in to the house and asked my husband where are you hiding her"
"He said hiding who, but I started looking around the house, I was so angry I dropped to the floor."
Finally the brunette says "Damn!! If you had just looked in the freezer we'd both have lived.
--- I know its not that funny but it made me giggle..Best April Fools joke?
a little old lady answers a knock at her door to be met by a travelling vacuum cleaner salesman.before she has a chance to say anything,the man tips horse sh#t over her hallway carpet and explains,madam if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of that horse sh#t from your carpet, I will eat whats left, well she says, I hope you're hungry because they cut my electricty off this morning!What are some dirty or funny jokes?
Not the most funniest but its still funny:
"Newton's 1st law:every book continues to be in its state of rest or covered with dust, until and unless an external or internal exam appears"
" An interesting piece of info:
In the year 1981 ,
1.Prince Charles got married
2.Liverpool crowned champions of Europe
3.Australia lost ashes
In the year 2005,
1.Prince Charles got married(again)
2.Liverpool crowned champions of europe(again)
3.Australia lost ashes(again)
Moral:in the future if Charles decides to re-marry please warn the Pope"
...Funniest Joke You've Told