Funniest Joke You've Told

hahahaha

3 men go into the forest and get captured by a king and his tribe. So the king tells the 3 men to go into the forest and bring back 10 of the same fruit. So the first man comeback with 10 apples. The king says “Okay now I want you to shove all ten up your butt without making any facial expression and I will let you live” So the man starts getting 1,2,3,then 4 apples and by the 5th he yelps in pain\ and is killed.

So then the 2nd guy comes back with 10 little blueberries. And the king tells him “If you can shove all these berries up your butt without any facial expression iw ill let you live. So the man gets 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth blueberrie the man burst in a laugh and is killed .

So man number 1 and man number 2 meet in heaven and the first man ask “why did you laugh man, you almost surived?’

And thew second man goes, “I couldn’t help it, I saw the other guy coming with pineapples.”

A blond, brunet and red head go hunting in the woods. they stop in a meadow to set up camp. The brunet leaves for a little while and comes back with a rabbit. The blond and red head ask the brunet how she got it and she replies “find tracks follow tracks, see rabbit, shoot rabbit, rabbit dies.” So the red head leaves and comes back with an elk. The blond and brunet ask the red head how she got the elk and she responds, “find tracks follow tracks, see elk, shoot elk, elk dies.” So the blond leaves and comes back with bruises and cuts everywhere. The brunet and the red head ask what happened to her and she replies “find tracks follow tracks, see train, shoot train, train didn’t die!!!

Three bombers sitting in a tree. One says “Oh! I’ll hit that other tree!” tree blows up and squirell comes flying out screaming. Second says “I’ll throw mine at the car.” Hits the car and person inside honks because of hitting wheel with his head. Third says “I’ll throw mine at that old house.” Hits the house. the man inside still alive crying after the house blows up. A kid comes and pats him on the back “Whats wrong old man?” The man says, “I farted and my house blew up!”

Two irish men have no money (but £0.30) and are desperate for a drink. They spend their 30p on a sausage and come up with a cunning plan. “So we go in to the pub have our drink then make it look like you’re sucking my pE4iz but really suck the sausage, so we drink the drink then get kicked out so we’re not charged”. Says no. 1.

They go through many pubs doing the same thing. By closing time for pubs they are both heavily drunk and one says to the other “I’m so tired, I could sleep right here”

The other says “How do you think I feel, I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub”!!!

did the kangaroo stop at the fence? because it ran out of bounce. bahahahahahahah

I’m a wrecking ball. I’ll tear you down so fast you’ll feel like a womans self esteem after a date with Dick Masterson.