Well, I've been ''seeing'' or ''dating'' (what ever you call it) a guy for about 3 months now. When I was 14 we were really close friends but then we grew apart because he's 2 years older than me and was focused on getting himself back into mainstream school. Anyway I dumped to him on my first day at college and he was surprised and glad to see me again as it had been about 2 years without no contact. Well we have met up everyday at college in are spare time we've been hanging around at each others houses and just enjoying each others company.
About 2 months of this went on and I ended up sleeping at his house because he live's about 10 miles away from me and I missed the last bus. Well things happened and we ended up sleeping together. I don't regret it at all we are still friend and its not changed anything if it has I think it's just made us closer.
So I text'd him the next day saying 'It's just made me like you more and I feel closer to you' and he replied with 'I'm not ready to rush into relationship at the minuet but I like the way we are' (meaning we can tell each other anything and also enjoy each others company and as well have sex without making anything uncomfortable).
I have all these strong feelings towards him that it's hard to hold in to myself sometime. I did at one point tell him I might be able to see him for a while because I was ill. With that he replied say 'awwwwh mush (mush being my nickname) you okay i'm going to miss seeing you everyday. Do you wan't me to ring you and try and make you feel better'
I honestly think he's ready for a relationship if not now within the next month or two. I just don't know how to bring the conversation up because I don't want to wait until he doesn't because i'll be waiting for ever.
Well he keeps becoming more 'relationshipy' around me more now we had sex (we only did it once). He calls me nearly every night. He calls me mush. He hold my hand in public. He make me feel whole inside when i'm around him. I've never felt this way before when around someone I like. I wouldn't say I love him either because it takes time to love someone.
The main reason I think he thinks he's not ready for a relationship is that he was cheated on by his ex. He told me he was very upset for a while because it was his best friend who she cheated on him with.
I honestly have no clue what to do about everything. I love it the way we are together I wouldn't change that for anything but It would be nice if I didn't feel like I was just a friend of which he slept with and showed affection too. I would like to be a girlfriend but I don't know what to say to him.
Please can I have some help on what to say or do it would help me very much
Many thanks, Holly :)
The whole friends with benefits thing rarely ever works out. One person, almost always gets emotionally attached and in this case, it's you. I would stop sleeping with him, or again, I wouldn't want him to see me as a friend to have sex with, not to mention, if it doesn't work, you'd end up much much much more hurt. Just talk to him about it. Tell him you're developing feelings for him and you want to be more than just a friend he has sex with, but a girlfriend if he's ready. It's simple as that really, hopefully he feels the same. If he doesn't though, for your own sake, stop sleeping with him you are far too attached already if the feeling is not reciprocated.
I have been in the "friends with benefits" position and I gotta say it sucks. And every time i talked to the guy about a relationship he always avoided it or said he wasn't ready. Eventually I stopped asking and when i moved on and got a boyfriend he totally flipped out about how he had made dinner reservations and wanted us to be a couple and that i didn't wait long enough...i waited like 2 years and he never showed that he ever wanted to b more than just friends with benefits so I would just ask him outright like the others have said and if he just still wants to be friends sure it will hurt but u will need to move on so u can be happy
Friends with benefits will never work for you because you're already attached and you want a relationship. You need to ask him straight up where you both stand. Tell him that you want a relationship. If he doesn't want a relationship and he only wants your company without the attachments then maybe he isn't for you. Right now he's happy because he can get everything for free. He doesn't have the responsibility of a boyfriend and can treat you in whatever way he wants because you're letting him. Put your foot down. And definitely don't sleep with him again if he isn't willing to be your boyfriend.
he acts like your dating... without the title... like you dont hold hands with your friend.... or sleep with a friend... like ask him out... say either you date or stop acting like you two are dating like dont hold his hand or anything act like friends..
Girls were never this easy in my day,thank god...Sex is so cheap when love dont exist ..You both deserve each other and all you catch IMO.