Female puppy housebreaking

We have a 3 1/2 month old mixed breed female. We are crate training her, with no success at all. She is only out of the crate to go outside to potty or if we are actively playing with her. We’ve figured out that she only needs 30 unsupervised seconds to pee on the floor. She ignores puppy pads completely.

We take her out every two hours and walk her to the area (picking her up to put her there quite often!), and then tell her “potty.” On the rare cases she does it, we cheer and pet her and tell her wonderful she is. Here’s the really annoying part: she will pee out side and then come in to celebrate 20 minutes outside the crate, and then PEE ON THE FLOOR!!! We can’t speak in anything other than happy tones, or she’ll nervous pee all over the place. Our other dogs will respond quickly to the “I’m not happy voice,” but they’ve never peed whenever they’re caught doing something.

I’m not sure how much longer we can take this. If you startle her, she’ll pee on you. She almost NEVER goes outside, but she’ll spend the entire day in the crate, then refuse to go potty outside! Then she’ll walk in, and pee as soon as she walks in. I don’t want the crate to be punishment. It’s supposed to be her sanctuary, but we have to crate her so that WE can go to the bathroom! Please help. Is this typical of girls (we have two boys)? We’re going out of town for a week next week, and I’m wondering if she should go to a kennel instead of staying here with the petsitter. Maybe they can get her to go outside!