Read more: I notice that babies/toddlers in US and Europe sleep in their room separated from their parents. here in Indonesia, children until 4 or 5 years old are still sleeping in the same bed with their parents. Is that bad?
Cosleeping or bed sharing is done by some parents in the US. If you think about it; have you ever heard of other primates doing this. Do chimps make their young sleep in a different tree? With very young children there can are dangers. In the US soft beds and pillows are the norm and these items can suffocate a baby that can not roll over on its own yet. The best compromise here is to move a bassinet next to the bed so baby can be nearby yet on safe bedding. Once baby can roll over on their own the most comforting place for them to sleep is between mom and dad. Parents who are very heavy or very light sleepers may have trouble cosleeping. Very heavy sleepers may not awaken after rolling on top of their baby and very light sleepers may find themselves awakened every time their baby moves. This is only a problem for a small percentage of parents and only the very heaviest and lightest sleepers. The vast majority of parents can easily adapt to sleeping with baby. Getting kids out of the bed and parents bedroom is a challenge but it can be done in stages. A toddler bed or bed roll in the same room is a good first step to get the child out of parent's bed. Then the bed might be moved to a hallway right outside of the parents bedroom and eventually in their own room. Even if you are unsuccessful coaxing kids out of your room most kids become self conscious when their bodies begin to change during puberty and they naturally desire privacy at this point and move out on their own accord. Many parents are afraid letting kids sleep with them will make them clingy and insecure but studies show the opposite that kids who cosleep are more independent and more secure than kids that don't.
Hey BBVibes? Making a kid independent at a young age is great. It does not mean not hugging your child and telling them u love them it's letting them explore the world for themselves with the guidance of their parents sometimes. Where the kid learns things on there own. I taught myself how to read and write in English because I used concepts and the alphabet from French (I went to a French school in my early years) That benefited me. I didn't get any help with english reading and writing until much later when I went to an English school. So thats what I mean. I am not as independent as I should be and I blame that on my childhood of not trying new things other than reading. I won't let that happen to my kids. Doesn't mean I won't love them. I am just preparing them for life...
Not necessarily. It really depends. Many people would say that because kids a a younger age sleep by themselves they'll be more independent. And well I think that may be true many Indonesians I know are the most independent and responsible people who aren't clingy to their parents but have a certain connection and respect for each other. So maybe it creates a bond. I moved to Canada and the lack of respect for adults and parents is shocking to me compared to China (no whipped kids jokes because its not funny and not true, FA members) Maybe that doesn't happen with a certain respect and discipline.
Its difficult. My younger cousin Louise slept in with her parents and when they tried to put her in a room of her own she would shake and cry and was properly terrified of sleeping alone after sleeping with her parents for many years. It took a lot for my aunt and uncle to get her to feel comfortable sleeping in her own bed. My uncle had to sleep on the floor right next to her in her room and gradually move himself closer to the door with each passing week till she could sleep alone but that itself took 2 months and it really took it out of him.
You cant get rid of them! They become attatched to sleeping with someone next to them. For me and my daughter its ok when she is really ill or she will climb into bed with us on a weekend morning. But even with only this, she wants to be with us more. I like my space and so does my husband so we dont allow it. If you dont mind it, no problem. They wont grow up weird or anything (or any weirder than they would have done anyway ;-) )
Bad for the parents sex life and the "together time"....otherwise its a good thing i think,cant see no wrong other than the mum n dad not having private time.But parents should make sacrificies for their kids,in the UK most young couples dump their kids with parents or babysitters asap to carry on as if still not parents let alone sacrifice thier bed times together for 5 years,so its good i think.
makes em more independent...?...a 5 year old...there are plenty of teenage years for that kinda education to be learnt and its not the innocent 5 year old,independence should have no merit in the doing of the question asked.Any one trying to teach a 5 year old to be independent or have those qualities needs locking up for child abuse .
The respect to older people is one of lessons/values that we teach our children. In the way younger people should speak, treat and behave when older people are around. However the value is getting thinner in big cities. Is a kid sleeping with their parents have psicological effect to the kids when they are grown up?
Actually I have tried to make her sleep alone. She asked me questions : if it is safe, what if she wants to go to d\bathroom, what if she got a bad dream. After long explanation and trial, she seems fine with sleeping alone. It turns out that I AM the one who cannot let her g\sleep alone. :(
I don't see a problem with it. You're probably more likely to have a closer relationship with your children as they grow up. There might be some problems with them sleeping on their own as they get older, but I'm sure they'll grow out of it if that happens.
i think there's nothing wrong with that, i know that my cousin sleeps with her parents shes 7, i don't think there's any side effects, maybe your child is scared of sleeping alone, maybe shes scared of something in her room like a toy or something.
I let my 4 year old daughter sleep in my bed until today. I was thinking of teaching her to sleep in her room when it came to my mind the idea to delay until she is 5. The good thing is my husband does not mind having her with us for another year.
I don't think it's bad... When I was little I used to sleep in my parent's bed because I was afraid to sleep alone. I think they should have kicked me out earlier so I wasn't so afraid though.
They will grow out of it to me its not a big deal i slept with my parents till i was 13 lol but yea they grow out of it as they get older they will want to sleep on there own in there room.
well I would leave her to sleep in her room if she is comfortable with it.. if you bring her back in she will think something is wrong with it and will find it harder to do the next time.
You have to be careful with that... Separation anxiety is a big factor that you have to think about it. Besides that and less alone time, there's really no problem.
i would try and get her to sleep in her own bed. like maybe start to go to bed with her, and then when she falls alseep go back to your own bed
You are right, Filleto. However I really need to teach her to sleep in her bed. It is our time now y'know :)
She is in her for the last three days. I have to be there before she really sleeps though.
I think so. I will have to teach myself sleeping without her :(. Thanks for the advice.
It really doesn't interfere with parent's sex life. Kids fall alseep y'know.
either a lot less sexual actions or really twisted family life
Not bad, just differant culture, differant ways of doin things