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Does my past limit my value?

Allright,to start,I was a nice girl,I met my first love at school and fell in love with him.I never wanted to let him go.Through most of it,he’s treated me great,shown all of his love to me,and after awhile,we got close physically and I started to forget about thing s like morality,and self respect…we had so much faith in eachother,but things started to happen,he started to not care for me as much,he had family problems,my family didnt like him…he wasnt what ithought he would be.But I went all the way with him ,now any problms we have,I think about how childish I was to believe,that wede never change,that our feelings would never change,I didnt think of the future,I thought about who i loved then. Were actually still together now,we’ve grown so much,were sticking through it,but I can’t help but wonder if im only doing this because he is my first love and ive gone so far with him.Theres has been a ton of things hes done to hurt me,or annoy me,orpush me away,but ive taken it.My question is,if things dont work out,would any nice,self-respecting guy,even want me despite my mistakes like giving up my virginity to someone when i was young when i had so much going for me and people telling me i deserve so much?Is virginity as prized to men as I think it is?My boyfriend wasnt a virgin when i met him,yet i forgave that.But i still ended up making that mistake,I feel just as low.Would anyone respect and care for me when he knew he could get a girl who was smarter and more desired?

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Answer #1

Many people lose their virginity when they are fairly young. Even if they don’t spend the rest of their life with that person, it certainly does not mean their life is over or that no one else will want them. There is no law saying we’re only allowed one sexual partner per lifetime. Most people have a few throughout their life.

It sounds like you are blowing this whole thing unbelievably out of proportion. You loved this guy and felt ready to make love to him. You can’t regret it now just because things changed. Otherwise everyone would be walking around regretting their entire past saying, “If I only knew then what I know now..” and that would just be a miserable way to live.

Not being a virgin is nothing that you or anyone else should be “forgiving” people for. Your past is your past. You don’t have to make apologies about it to anyone. Any guy who says he “forgives” you for it deserves a slap anyway. Any guy who says he does not want to be with you because of it isn’t worth your time.

Not being a virgin does not make you stupid, undesirable, immoral, or not nice anymore. You still have the qualities you had before even after you lose you virginity. So if you weren’t stupid before, you’re not stupid now. Otherwise, pretty much everyone in the entire world would be stupid, undesirable, immoral, and not nice since most people have had intercourse.

So guys probably really won’t care if you’re a virgin or not, but they definitely might be turned off by your attitude. Not many people are attracted to people who put themselves down like that, especially for no good reason.

If things are starting to go bad with guy, don’t be afraid to leave. You don’t need a man to make you happy. If he’s treating you badly, then you would be better off single or with someone else. And you certainly do not have to settle for some jerk who won’t accept your past.

Answer #2

you gave up the only thing in life you should treasure until you should get married, have you told your parents?? if so what did they say, its better fir you to be honest with your [parents as they will find out sometime from someone else,when they do your going to have some explaining to do, im not taking sides with any one, im giving you an idea whats going to happen, your name will be the talk of your mates and his mates, i can only sypmathise with you, he told you that he loved you, all the blokes say that until they get what they want then they dump you for some one else

Answer #3

Nobody will ask you where is your virginity, the problem is not that what you think; “this relationship destroyed your values”, rather that you can find a man for a good partnership or not, independently of your “past”. If you leave your present partner you may find yourself alone, not because of your lost virginity, but because of the single culture of the society. On the other hand you may find a perfect man and live with him in a big happiness. The problem is not the past, the problem is the future. What nobody knows.

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