Does he want me back?

I dated this guy in College for 4 years. We feel in love in the fall of 2003 and dated until August of 07. Our relationship was amazing the first couple of years, but then things started to go wrong. He started to be controlling. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time. He made me feel like I couldn’t be myself. I had to change things to make him happy. It was really hard. It became more of a job than a relationship. And I think it is right to sacrifice somethings, but not almost everything. I loved him very much. I would do anything to make him happy. I shaped my whole day and life around his. I am a very giving person, and he came across very selfish.
Near the end of the relationship, I could feel him start to pull away from me. He would kiss me and things, but not like he used to. He became very cold, and very distant. He then decided that he was going away for grad school after graduation. He became even more distant before he left, telling me he didn’t know if we were going to stay together after he left, and dangled our relationship in front of my face. It came down to two weeks till he was going to leave. He didn’t act like he wanted to spend any time with me, what so ever! It was awful. He bought a new car, and I was the last person he showed it to. It just really upset me. He didn’t want to see me the last day he was going to be here. He moved down there, called me almost every day when he got there, and then the calls started to stop. I would go weeks without hearing from him, and then he just stopped calling. I called him one day, and we both agreed that it would be best to just break up. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with. It broke my heart, because I still loved him, and I still do.

He and I started talking again after 8 months of no communication. He called me, after he and his new girlfriend had broke up. He said that he regretted what happened between me and him. He said that he took what we had for granted. He said the he really didn’t love that other girl, he was just lonely. He is coming to visit next week and said that he wanted to talk… I am a little nervous. I don’t know what to do. Does he want me back? Or does he just want closure? I am not sure… I just know that ever since he called me two months ago, we have been talking like crazy.

Answer #1

I have been where you are at and I am so sorry for you. I think that the hardest thing for us to do as woman is to just let go and move on . May it be by our selfs or into another relationship. To move on to me means to move forward not backwards. You seem to be a nice young lady and if I had to bet I would say that there are many young men that would love to take you out if given the chance. I think that you answerd yourself when you said that you had’nt spoke for 8 months and only after he broke off with the other girl he started calling again. That tells me that you are the forsure girl for him, the one that he can always fall back on when the world rejects him for his short comings. I just want to say please dont be that girl anymore and move on with your life as he did for 8 months independent of you or your feelings. Live your life ,laugh out loud, feel the warm sun on your face and just enjoy all around you but do this independent of him.

Answer #2

He probably knows his flaws now and is trying to become a better man. He probably does regret leaving you on bad terms and wants some closure and maybe wanting to get back with you. You have to decide if you want this man back and you have to see if you want to restart from scratch because he has probably changed. I personally couldn’t trust a person that did me wrong like that but I have trust issues and you have to forgive him before moving on.

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