depression and parents issues. please read,.

ok so I get really depressed sometimes bucause my parents, well thay can be really mean sometimes. I dont mean like they abuse me or anything they just hurt my feelings and put me down a lot and they have mood swings so I never know when I’ll say somthing that there going to flip out about. somedays can be really good and nothing bad’ll hapen but outhers its like I did everything wrong. like my verry presants upsets them. they had me verry young my mom was 15 going on 16 and my dad was 17 going on 18. they got married after they had me. and then lator on in my life they had my 3 siblings. and now that I’m older I knotice more things. like how they usto argue. and now they aruge constatly and trheten echouther with deorse. my dad say things about my mom to me and I dont tel her because I know shel get mad and sad. but when I dont tell her she yells at me for not telling her. when I do she starts going of on a rampage. same thing with my dad. whatever I do it seems to always be the wrong thing. I’m not ure how to win? sometimes I think its my fault that they’re so unhappy like this. but I dont know how to make the happy. I try to act it. but sometimes I cant help it and I have to cry and both of them try to make me happy by giving me things and letting me buy things with my own money I earn from bsbbysitting (which is a lot) but really it doesent make me happy at all and they end up taking everything I buy or they give me away and using it for themselvs or giving it to my little siblings. what should I do? I dont like feeling sad or depressed all the time. is there anything I ccan do to make them happier. I’ve tried telling them to just devorse echouther or to try marrage counsling but they said it would take way to much of there time and money. I cant cnvince them to do anything. please help. and I apologize for the long message. but I would greatly appreatiate it if you would help me out.

senccerly

         - midnightdreamer.
Answer #1

Aw even though I dont know you I feel bad for you, tbh I think the person above is being a bit strick about the whole ‘dont date people when your 15’.. thats not the problem really is it…my parents were 25 when they had my brother and were unhappy most of their marriage (well at least since I can remember) anyway, they split up a year ago and although it was the worst year ever (full of depression and beating myself up..blaming myself and stuff) and although I know its better this way they do still fight and they use me and my brothers and sister to get at each other, were constantly being put in the middle and stuff… btw im not trying to make this about me but I just wanted to show even though I was so unhappy then and still am now sometimes im happy now and however much I resented people telling me at the time it was just because I was hormonal and after a while id get over it but you know what they were right. Every kid goes through something like this and I think all you can do is stick it out and do the best you can. After a while it’ll either go one way or the other and they’ll either get divorced or realise they do really love each other.. and about the councelling maybe you could put some of your babysitting money towards it and show them that that your being the responcible grown up and maybe make them realise its got to the point where they need to cut it out!

Anyway I honestly hope that helped a little and things improve Much love x

Answer #2

Keep your chin up, thats the first thing you gotta do! I had the same stuff go on with my parents except I was greatful for the minimum of what you just said, that was a good day for me. You have to be strong, its not your fault that your parents are unhappy, its also not fair that they come and talk to you about there problems it adds extra stress on you and its not your burden to carry, again my parents did that to me (my dad still does) It sounds like your parents need to grow up and realize what is best for you and your siblings if things really are not working then they need to do something about it NOT you. if they dont want to go to counsoling or get a divorce then thats pretty selfish apparently they dont realize how they are affecting the family. You can also talk to them but in my case that never worked because they would just throw that back in my face and use it against me. When it comes to the whole money thing and your parents taking your stuff away and giving it to your sinlings you can simply not except money from your parents and buy your own things with your own money that way if they try to take it away you can politly remind them that YOU baught it and that it is YOURS not thiers to take away. I had to do that since I was about 15 and they still tried to take stuff away but if you work for it and pay for it then they have no right. you need to recognize that your parents are also under a lot of stress for some reason and although its not your job to deal with it you can help in little ways, like say you go spend the day with your siblings or help them with homework ect (plus this will help you become closer to your siblings and thats all you have right now, they know what your going through cuase they are right there with you what ever you do dont lose them or push them away that will be the biggest mistake you can do) if you want to get closer to your parents why dont you actually invite them to do something with you, burn the bridges in a sence, treat your mom or dad to ice cream, ask one of them to go on a walk with you, bullsh*t with them even for a few minutes…it wont eliminate all the stress but it will for that point in time and thats a start…I hope things work out for you keep your chin up

Answer #3

its not your fault. my parents might get a divorce too. I got upset and threw away all the food in the house.(its a long story) just b strong and know theres tons of kids on your same boat

Answer #4

also; your at a difficult age.. you start to take “things” more personal.. A good thing to start is by telling your dad that he has to stop telling YOU things about your mom.. so you can’t be accused of anything ( If I understood everything right..) I’ve been trough somewhat the same thing; but this was after the divorce.. but anyways; keep ya head up; It will make you stronger.. every parents fight, every child feels bad ‘bout this, but there isn’t much you can do about it.. except for talking with both of your parents but I don’t know if this is possible ( it wasn’t in my situation.)

Answer #5

First off, your parents are THE poster children for how to mess up a life…

  • “don’t” ever have sex out side of a life long relationship (marriage). Pregnancy really happens, duh.
  • “don’t” ever let a 15 year old girl have sex with a teen age boy. Guys 30 and under are total narcissists.
  • “don’t” ever let a 15 year old girl date. She’ll get in trouble, duh.
  • “don’t” ever let a 15 year old girl hang around guys near her age. Find some dude in his early 30’s, he should have the maturity by then to see her as some thing more than just a sex toy.
  • “don’t” … oh crud, I could go on and on.

Here’s the good news. For what ever reason, your parents did the right thing and got married. They may have even done it for you! All is not lost.

What ever you do, stop telling them to get divorced. Divorce is RARELY the answer. It’s like having an infection in your leg, and “curing” it by cutting the leg off!

The problem is, your parents are acting like animals. Why? Because that’s what they’ve been told all their life that they are - by the schools, by society, by the media.

There’s only one solution. As cheesy as it may sound, they need to make up their minds if life has a purpose, if God exists, you know, that sort of thing. If they figure life is just an accident, well, what the heck. Who cares what happens or what you do or how it affects any one?

Forget psychology / counseling, majority of those people are in it for the money. Find a pastor or priest nearby, and scream “Help!”. A good one will come running, for free. Life does have a purpose, and your parents need to understand that. Once they do, they can start changing them selves for the better.

Cheer up, in a short while you are going to be a healthy, happy adult, because you aren’t going to make the same mistakes your parents did.

Are you…?

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