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What should I do about brother issues?

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I've been dating a guy for almost 5 years. About 2 years ago i started writing to his brother (at his request, his brother is in prison). Well, long story short, there are some jealousy issues now. The one i'm dating sneaks around and reads the letters if they're not put away somewhere. And the other one is always telling me things like "he doesn't deserve you," and there was one time he was upset with his brother (the one i'm dating) and said "he's lucky i haven't taken you from him." Recently he's said things like "you're too good to me, he better keep on his toes." The bad thing is, the more letters and phone calls i get, the closer i get to the brother, and the more defensive i get of him. It irks me that the whole family seems to just pretend he's dead. The one i'm dating doesn't even write to him. We have so much in common, as he puts it, we're "like-minded." I think we're falling for each other. How can i stop this without stopping contact with him? He's told me that I give him hope. He's alone, he's to be in prison for quite a few more years, and i'm afraid that if i stop accepting his calls or letters, then he's going to give up all hope of ever getting out (which is what i'm helping him work toward). And a man with no hope will just lay down and die. He was on the verge when i started writing him. Any suggestions?