I am 32 years old and when I was 24, I met and became friends with a man who was 39 years old. We were friends for 2 years and over the course of our 2 year friendship, I developed really strong feelings for him. So when I was 26, I decided to reveal to him how strongly I felt about him. He told me that he did not want to have a relationship with me because of the 15 year age difference between us. But a year later, he got engaged to be married to someone who is the same age as I am. I think I just wasn't his type appearance wise, and he just did not want to tell me for fear of hurting my feelings. I felt so angry with him because he lied so we never spoke to each other again.
Although he and I have not spoken now in 6 years, I have never gotten over him and still feel very strongly about him. I have come across his twitter page recently and see's that he has now gotten married to the woman who he was engaged to, and they now have a daughter. I've been wanting to send him a tweet just to say hi and to ask how he is doing, but I am afraid he won't respond back. I don't think he really wants to talk to me again. What should I do? I could really use the advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and responding back.
Ah- these things are never easy....the matters of the heart... the things that keep us up at night. Ay, ay, ay! Sorry...
The thing is that you're well aware of the situation. At one point, it seemed as tho he was yours, even though you guys didn't label it as such. It felt like a relationship. You fell- hard- for him and you believed that the feeling might be mutual. So you took that chance and confessed your feelings. Hoping that it would be mutual- but it wasn't. And that's where the first punch came in. His reason, by itself, was a red flag- I mean, c'mon dude! What guy wouldn't want a young, beautiful woman next to him for the rest of his life? Isn't that what they're all secretly wishing for, right?
Obviously... that's exactly what he wanted. Despite the fact that he told you that the age difference was the 'reason'. That made little to no sense. He pretty much straight out lied. It's evident. He's married to someone who's within your age group, right? Had a child with her! Yea.. what a liar!
I know that this is hard for you- but please... try to move on. It's not so easy you say, and I totally get that because... you never got that closure. In a way I think that tweeting him would finally put a stop to your pain. I feel that your heart needs to reach out that one more time BUT your mind is asking you,'are you crazy?' The dude's married with a kid. What do you expect him to say?
It's a tough place to be in. I say... IF you believe that tweeting him and getting whatever response you think you'll get is going to 'set your heart free', then do it! If you think that it'll give you that much needed closure in order to move on, most definitely do it. I honestly don't see what you have to loose. You already know that he's taken. That he can't be yours, and that even when he had that chance, he chose to pass it up. SO.. with all of this said..
It all boils down to you being able to say to him, "Thanks for lying about the age difference being the reason for why we couldn't have been a couple. Obviously you've married just that."
Maybe that's what's going to bring you that closure and will help you finally move on.
hello im very sorry to hear this ,
honestly i dont think you should tweet him , he obviously moved on very much hes got a kid and a wife now theres no need to contact him anymore . it is really hard getting over somebody you once love trust me been there done that . except my situation was way worse. It will take a lot of time getting over someone but take it step by step . Dont sit at home miserable thinking about the " should of , could of or would of " go out once in a while hang out with friends meet new people and most importantly find someone who appreciates you remember everything happens for a reason .. and dont go stressing and crying over someone who isnt doing the same your just wasting your time . your a beautiful person and will find someone who will appreciate all your flaws:) now go out and find that knight and shining armor :)
Yeah tweet him, you may tempt him to cheat on his wife and daughter and destroy that loving family with your selfish wants...you never know his wife may see the tweet and want revenge and you may get to fight her and do damage physicaly instead of just mentaly.All in all it was time ago and from what you write he seemed the gent he should have been, you just need to move on and let this family try to be as happy as they can...i am sure they do not need a jealous person ruining what they have already.move on and leave this poor family alone.
You always give good advice whenever I post a question here. I appreciate it.
Thank you! I appreciate it.
Thank you! I appreciate it.