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I have a boyfriend who won't talk to me and I don't know why. Should I keep him or let him loose?
My boyfriend is like this too. I've been seeing him for a year and, no matter what I did, he never became more talkative.
We've discussed his closedness and the most important question for me was WHY?
According to him, he is basically very, very worried that what he has to say is not interesting or that he will come across as a loser, so he chooses not to say anything at all. He was aware of how painful it can be for me (I sometimes feel shut out or frustrated with his apparent disinterest and apathy. I sometimes even feel like he doesn't like me), but still he couldn't seem to change this behaviour.
Here are some things you need to know:
It has absolutely nothing, WHATSOEVER, to do with you. The problem is his self-esteem or confidence. He needs to find a way to work through this (by himself, it is not your job!), possibly in therapy. If you love him, support him in this.
Though it is good for him to hear that you are interested in and respect what he has to say, if he feels as bad about himself as my boyfriend does, this will not solve the problem. He has to change what HE believes about himself.
Do not buy into the idea that it is your job to find interesting things for you guys to talk about. The problem is not that he is disinterested. Therefore, this strategy will not help. After a while, you will get tired of doing it and feel resentful and it will only make matters worse.
It is not because he is a guy and guys don't like to talk. I know plenty of guys who are complete blabber mouths. So it's best not to pigeon-hole him. It will only feel to him like he has no way of improving.
Please know that the only thing that started to help any was when he started to take steps for himself. He sees a therapist once a week and together they work on his self-esteem issues. Occasionally I go with him and we all talk about things I can say or do that help the process, but mainly I have to butt out and let him get on with it.
Though I decided to stick with my guy though this process, you may not feel like doing the same. I don't know how long you guys have been together, or whether you love him or just like him. That bit is up to you.
Whew! What a long message! I hope it helped and good luck!
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Are you saying that he's ignoring you and won't talk to you? If so, dump him. You're young yet. If this dude in immature enough to stop talking to you while you're supposed to be dating, then he's not worth your time. Find someone that won't act like a fool and treat you like one, too.
If you mean he won't open up to you, that's a completely different story. He may have low self-esteem issues or he may have been raised by parents that don't share their feelings, either. Just let him know that you're there for him if he ever wants to talk. Knowing that someone in there for him, cares about him and wants to know about him he will probably come around eventually. If this is the case, I wouldn't break up with him over that - it could prove to be a horrible decision that could really hurt him.
what's the point of keeping him if he don't wanna be bothered with you,what are you doing to make him not talk to you? talk to him alone and see what's his problem. ask him''why won't you talk to me? ''be real and stait foward with me'' and if after ya'll talk it out and he still acts the same move on hone.
my boyfriend haven't talked to me by phone in 2 days now! so, when I saw him online, I messaged him! he doesn't have any idea that what he did made me feel bad. I told him that if a guy doesn't call then he doesn't really want to talk to that girl or guy if he's dating guys. HE'S REPLY WAS 'THAT IS TRUE!
talk to him talk to him...in case you guys havent read her question correctly she says her bf DOESNT talk to her. So then i guess talking to him wouldnt be the answer! Hes not a bf, the best thing you can do for yourself is dump him!!!
u have to try talkin to ur boyfriend if u love him like he loves u if he doesnt want to talk to u then its up to u to live him an move on but try to get to no wats in his heart that he wont let u in good luck
Sounds like he made the decision for you already. I mean, if my boyfriend magically stopped talking to me one day, I would have to make the assumption that he doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore.
i think that u should talk to him and find out what is going on and see what happens in the next few days then if he still dont talk to you then break up with him that is what i think u should do
if he wont tlk to u then ask him wat the problem is and tell him how the hell r yall suppose o have a relatonship if he is always mad at u
im excatly like this .i dont really talk to my girlfriend that much.its because im shy.dont dump maybe hes just really shy like me
i think that you should talk to him first then find out what is going on and in a coupple days if it is the same then let him go
i think that you should ask him why wont he talk to you and if he dont give you a good explenation the just foget about him
well talk to him and find out what is going on then if it is the same way after a coupple days then breake up with him
ya talk 2 him about it if u never talk wats the purpose of being together u need 2 talk 2 get 2 know eachother
i think that you should watz best for you and him and listen to your heart
talk to him and tell him how u feel
yez dump him kuz yall needz 2 talk
