I recently found out my wife had an affair with a married man. She wanted to leave me and marry him but he said no. She said in all affairs, things are said but not meant and wants to work things out with me. I feel she is with me only because he said no. What do you think can I ever trust her? We have been married for 30 years.
As long as your kids are grown, it's safe to divorce. I'm assuming they are all out of the house?
The only advice I give in situations like this is to follow your happiness. Consider your options that you may have forgotten. A friend of mine and his wife divorced after 29 years of marraige. They lived in the suburbs of a rather boring town that she wanted to live in, they had a stale life, basically. He always wanted to live in a big city and enjoy different foods and nightlife and walk through crowded streets. he moved to New York city and is a different man, to say the least! He has what he wanted out of life and is happy, when hedidn't even want the divorce--she did. Now she's still living a stale and lonely life and he's out taking dance lessons and having a blast making new friends and going to art galleries and concerts in New York.
Now that your wife has decided there was a better life out there somewhere, I think you would be justified at this point to decide whether there is a better life out there for you, too. If there is, I'm not saying divorce and go for it, just consider it, the way she considered leaving you. If you want to be with her, do that.
wow im really sorry to hear that.. but u need 2 open up your eyes and realize, that she was going to leave you to be with him, and since he said no she is basically settling for you. im sure she loves you because hello 30 yrs of marriage.. but sumtimes people grow apart over time. im sorry if this is really hurting you but u need 2 hear the truth.. what if in the future she meets sum1 else again n just leaves u like that. u need 2 beat her 2 the chase and cut that relationship off NOW u dont wana spend ure life worrying that ure wife may cheat or leave u that is NOT FAIR on u at all.. good luck!!