Why shouldnt I be upset?

Me and my bestfriend have been into it for about 2 days straight over this:

I went through a lot and I used to cut myself badly..and she would tell me how it hurt her and upset her and my girlfriend would b upset too..so I eventually stopped (I got a counselor) and I can proudly say I havent for a month in a half;; well my best friend smokes weed and it upsets me (and its along story and it hurts to think about), I tell her I dont like that she smokes and she says it calms her down and if she doesnt than she’ll start cutting or doing pills again..and im mad cause when she would come to me about stopping cutting I did that partly for her,..but I ask the same from her and she goes off on me sayin im the only friend who doesnt care about her for her…and im like its cause im the only friend who gives a F**k because not even your mom says anything to you about it;; and shes so mad shes pretty much trying to replace me with some girl you dropped her as a friend once because her boyfriend told her to some im like WTF.! I don’t know what I should do,I cant just leave it alone and forget about it…

Answer #1

Well, relax… first of all. To me, if cutting yourself seems like a solution to anything, then you both have some serious issues. Personally I would have tied my friend down and drug them to the mental health clinic if they were doing that… Such as it is, these days it seems one can do whatever they like and everyone just nods and says its okay or looks the other way.

I can’t knock weed, cause I enjoy smoking it myself, though its more like a bi-yearly thing these days, but no drug should be used as a solution to a problem. Don’t corner the marijuana thing, as weed smokers tend to get defensive over it. Try approaching it as “You have issues that you don’t know how to deal with, so you’re using weed to forget about them, and there are healthier way to deal.” Then ask her if she’d like to go for a jog. Let her light up first, cause she probably just wants to and don’t argue about it. In fact, ask her if she’d like to light up and then go hang out with you. Let her do it, and then step out and jog through a park or something.

When she’s done, she’ll realize she’s more relaxed and her thoughts are more focused. Eventually she’ll see that its never good to run from your problems, but running can actually help you focus your mind and think of ways to deal with them, if not simply help your mind start to produce those healthy endorphins that make those big, negative feelings go away.

If she’s not down, try yoga, karate, gymnastics, soccer, volley ball… or, shit, let’s just be honest… sometimes it helps to just buy a wooden baseball bat and go wail on a big tree… whatever works, just don’t let her run away anymore. Teach her to fight for her happiness.

Answer #2

her mom knows what shes doing…and like she just is ridiculous and makes it seem like im terrible because im her only friend whos saying anything about it

Answer #3

I dont think this girl is your friend anymore it sounds like she has some problems and has found some of the worst ways to releaive the pain of those problems so shes probably really depressed and is changing a lot from the person you once knew her as I would think she needs help, profesiional help because shes certainly not going down the right road the things shes doing can end up killing her, and it doesnt sound like she even cares about her own healthy I would suggest talking to her mum/parents and telling them what she does and that you beleive she needs profesional help, it might also be good to bring up what she did for you so they can understand why your so concerned about your (former) friend

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