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Why does everyone hate Santa Claus?

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He's already got the short end of the stick on this deal, what with all his hard work making it around the world in a single night and giving us all the cool crap that we wanted for Christmas, and in return we take away his freedom of speech, refuse to let the guy have a smoke, and now the surgeon general's calling him a fatty.

Lay off the guy, he does more work in one day than anyone of us has ever done in their life. One day he'll quit because of all you a**holes and non-believers, and then you'll be sorry. What's Christmas without Santa Claus? There isn't one.