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I'm a 16 year old dude, and every night, my parents take the wireless internet router, and take my phone. They now take my phone because I was up talking to my best friend at midnight because his dad was about to die from esophogial cancer, and he really needed someone to talk to. Needless to say, my parents didn't believe me. Tonight, while I'm on spring break, I went 5 minutes over the time that I was supposed to be in bed, and my parents got all mad. Stated that it was my last warning. In fact, it was my first warning. Then they said that this is why I can't keep my phone overnight because I can't be trusted with it. I've had my phone many times overnight, even while spending the night at my friends' house, and I didn't text or talk after 10pm, even if I was up till 2am. Yet they still won't let me keep it overnight. Their excuse is "You're not using it, so why do you need it??" I'm not using my laptop at night, so why don't you take that??? I'm not using my PS3 at night sooo why don't you take that also?? I'm not using my tv at night, so why don't you take that also??? It just gets so overbearing.
I'm homeschooled, start school at 6:30, and usually don't finish until around 6pm. I work out for 45 minutes, then we eat dinner. Usually this is all done by 7:15-7:30. Then I have to get in the shower at 8:15 so I can study (even if I have nothing to study for), and usually go to bed at 9:30. That leaves me about 45 minutes of free time. Not enough. I'm sorry but its just not enough. I can't text while doing school (which is fine), so I don't really have time to talk to my friends.
I have great parents, but they are making me pay for my sister's mistakes, and its really taking its toll. If anything, all their rules just make me WANT to do EVERYTHING that I'm not supposed to. Just to show them that I don't care what they take away, or how long they ground me. I could really care less. My life already sucks (most of the time), so how much worse could it get?
First, I agree with your statement that you have great parents. Although they are raising you in a stricter environment than most kids your age, it is clear they are going to all that extra trouble and expense because they love you very much.
There are good and bad things about every type of parenting style. You said, "...their rules just make me WANT to do EVERYTHING that I'm not supposed to." Unfortunately, that's the BAD thing about their style of parenting. Another bad thing is when you turn 18 and decide to leave home and live on your own, you'll be more naive than other 18 year olds.
But I wonder if the good things far outweigh the bad things. One is your admirable self-discipline -- you mentioned being in class 12 hours/day, working out 45 minutes every day. Wow, with that level of self-discipline, you will definitely become a highly-successful adult! And that's not to mention those ripped muscles will make you VERY popular with the ladies. You will have an education far superior to almost anyone who has attended public school. If you decide to attend college, you will undoubtedly have an easy time of it! In even reading your question, I was impressed by the excellent spelling and grammar and thought development, especially considering you are only 16.
Most home-schoolers are from families which place a high value in Faith, as well. If that describes your family, then it is yet another quality which your parents are developing in you, and it too will be far superior and stronger than other kids your age. Finally, you are developing very strong bonds with your family, by spending so much time with them. When you get 18 and on your own, you will discover that so many families do not have those strong bonds between them.
I have been a foster-parent most of my adult life. I have raised 31 foster-boys about your age. Not a singe one of them has ever had the hope for success which you have. And, like you, every one of them disagreed with one or two house rules. But after they turned 22 or 23, most of them would call me up and tell me they had learned I wasn't so "tough" after all, and they finally saw the reason for the rules.
So, yes, most of us reading your question will disagree with one or two things your parents are doing but, please, try to weigh it all as if in a balance-scale. List all the good things on one side, and all the bad things on the other. Your parents are human, they have their faults, and they make wrong decisions. It seems one or two of their rules might be harsher than other parents would enforce. But it is very clear they love you and are trying hard to raise you the best way they know how.
As parents, we are all human, meaning none of us is perfect. Your parents, and everyone else's parents, make mistakes. You have less than 2 years until you turn 18, and can then make your own decision whether to continue to live with your parents and abide by their house-rules, or to live on your own. I realize 22 months sounds like a looong time for a 16 year old, but it's not really that long in the big scheme of things.
Until then, please practice discussing things with your parents in a more adult way, to prove to them you are able to earn their trust. You write, "... I went 5 minutes over the time..." Honestly, I understand both sides of that disagreement. I understand you were on Spring Break, and felt you should have the rules relaxed somewhat. I agree with you. But I also understand your parent's perspective, that a house rule is a house rule. A more mature approach would have been to talk with them beforehand, asking for that house rule to be relaxed during Spring Break.
My boys all thought I was a "cool Dad" but I too would never have allowed a hard and firm house rule to be treated as lightly as you did. I realize your point of view that it was "only five minutes" but their point of view is that you showed complete disrespect for their authority.
God bless you. Keep us posted on how it goes. I'm betting you're going to be a highly-successful young man.
@ wrbriggs
Thank you for all of the kind words. I really appreciate it.
I realize that they are making those rules to help me grow up to be a better person, and teach many other things, but at times I feel like the rules are a little elementary. For instance: taking my phone at night. I've proved to them that I can be trusted and not talk/text on it after bed time, but they (mostly just my mom) don't trust me. And I've proved to them that I can be trusted with many other things. When my mom left the wireless router plugged in and operational for about 4 days, I set my computer out on the kitchen table every night, even though I'm allowed to keep it in my room. And a few times, she's forgotten to unplug it and take it into their room, so I unplugged it, and took it to them, without them even asking for it. So far over my Spring Break, she has left the router overnight, but has taken my phone. I'm fine with this, especially if it is a step in the right direction for them to trust me.
I also forgot to mention that I practice piano for an hour each day (except for Saturday and Sunday). Been playing for 10 years now, and have been playing college level songs for about 5 years now. Placed second in state championship a few years ago. Should have placed first, but the judge said that the song was too big for my hands (which it definitely wasn't). The person that received first place only won because she played two songs, instead of one. You were actually only supposed to play one song, but I guess that judge let that slide. Oh well. I'll get them next time ;D.
I've noticed that my schoolwork/homework is basically a grade ahead of public school. When I was doing my 9th grade homework, my cousin who is in 10th grade had just learned the stuff that I was doing for homework.
I wish I had more time to work out, but I need some time to relax and sometimes see what's on the news. Yes, I know it sounds weird for a 16 year old kid to be watching news by his own will, but I'm pretty involved in politics. My homeschooling group did a Civics class; now that was a GREAT class and course to take. Even though it required a lot of hard work to pass (not to mention that we were competing against many schools in Nevada), it was a very useful class. It taught me a considerable amount concerning politics. Now when I listen to people's speeches, I can actually see through what they are saying and going to do, and figure out pretty much where they stand on everything. And what actions they would take if certain things. My homeschooling group gets together once a week, and we have approximately 25 people attending the classes. Many more people are in the group, but some are taking other co-op classes with another homeschooling group. I have many friends in the homeschooling group, so that is nice being able to see them.
My parents have definitely instilled Faith into out family.
I'm definitely going to college. Currently wanting to major in mechanical engineering, but that may change once I see what else I could major in. I know that I am going for 4 years. I might just go for the master's degree though. Might as well. What's another two years in college if it will help the rest of my life?
Oh, I forgot to mention this in my first post. When I went 5 minutes over the set time, I was going by my clock, whose time I had changed the week before because it was running about 4 minutes ahead of time. For some reason, it slowed down a lot, and I didn't notice that until I got in trouble for going over time.
Thanks for all of the replies everyone.
I thought only girls get pressurised like this. But anyways, my parents are similar to your parents. I can't have my phone to myself. They check my contacts and my messages every night. We don't have a TV at home. I’ve a laptop, but I am not allowed to have an internet on it. It's like what's the point to have it. I have credits on my phone, but I am not allowed to use it. Then why the *** did they buy it. And I am not allowed to have a DAMN fresh air. (am not allowed to go outside.) Every time I asked them they're like ''You want to go and have a fat stomach like your cousins'' It's so annoying, and I hate when my parents compare me to them, it makes me sick. So I never ask them because I get angry of what they accuse me off. They make it out of big deal, when I ask them if I can go outside.
My parents are so over protective because my cousins have been spoilt brats before. They don't want me to be like them. Parents don't have to be strict when they want to protect you from something. It's my choice I can either be like them and have crap future, which am sure nobody wants. Or be successful.
And every time I get a decent a grade in school. They say ''If we wasn't overproctive of you, you wouldn't have had these grades. One day you will thank us'' They think they have helped me get the grades, which pisses me off. They wasn't the ones who stayed up all night studying.
I got use to them being so over protective, am 17 now and as the years go by they get older and start to get tired of the whole overprotective s***, trust me they will eventually get tired of it all and give you a privacy zone.
at your age you would feel that your parents are always trying to annoy you or making you do stuff just to hurt you,but infact they are doing this just to protect you . you said that they are making you pay for what your sister did, what I get from that is ,they are trying to protect you from what your sister did in the past ,they think that you might end up just like her or mabye hurt your self, the only thing that your parents want is to live your life and be happy about it . Dont think for a second that your mum and dad are trying to annoy you or hurt you,they are only trying to protect you. I was 16 once and I always felt that my parents are trying to hurt me and at some point I really thought that they hated me ,but things changed when I understood what they are really trying to do. There is always the chance where you can go and talk to someone about this ,but the first thing you should do is . tell your parents that they are pressuring you too much , talk to them about how you feel , tell them how you feel about them ,make them believe that you really do think they are making you pay for what your sister did and hopefully they would understand and try to change . good luck (: x
Well, first of all...never say "things can't get worse". Life has a way of showing you that it most certainly can get worse... :)
You say you have great parents...that is a good foundation to say "I want to use my 45 minutes of free time, to sit down and talk with you both". If YOU think they are great parents, the chances are, they think you are a great kid...really!
Tell them, that you FEEL that you are living under the sins of your sister...that you aren't her, and would like to be treated as the person you are. 45 minutes isn't very much time per day for a teenage social life. How much more time do you want per day? 30 minutes? 45 minutes? Ask for it. The worse that can happen is they'll say no...You might ask "what can I do to earn the priveledge??" That puts the ball in their court, and you've done it in an adult way.
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@ phrannie
Thanks for the reply also. I'll try talking to my mom to see what she says.
