Who plans to get married?

Well you’ll never get it as you’re not married!Ha ha

ifeelcrazy123–

The value of being married will show itself if either you or your boyfriend have to go to the hospital. With no legal standing, you/he will be relying on the goodwill of the family.*

Ummm, explain in more detail what you mean? *

Explanation: In 1984 my live in girlfriend of 3.5 years and I were in a motorcycle accident. I got two broken legs treatable anywhere, my girlfriend however had some very serious issues starting with a pelvis that was broken in 5 places so she had to be flown to a large hospital in the city. Her family could not get to the hospital for a few days. My family did not have the legal right to visit her in ICU so my girlfriend was looking at a couple of days that she would not be able to find out what happened to me, nor would I be able to know what happened to her. (Privacy issues) It turned out that my sister lied and told the hospital that she was my girlfriend’s sister. This was the only way that we were able to find out the extent of her injuries and how close she was to dying. If we had been married, we would have known and my sister would not have had to lie so that my girlfriend would have someone she knew to visit with.

This is the only reason I make the claim of legal standing. Finances are not even thought of at the time.

Since the accident, we did get married and still are.

Is money that all matters!

No, it’s definitely not. I do think that you misunderstood me with that comment or that I didn’t explain myself properly. A few years ago my dad lost his job (due to political reasons- long story which I won’t be explaining) and my mother almost lost everything as well because she was married to him and therefore had to share the debt and everything.

We had to go to charity organisations to get food and couldn’t even afford birthday presents for a while. The same happened when my dad ended up in hospital in two months intensive care. If they weren’t married things would have been much easier in my opinion, because my mother wouldn’t have had all my dad’s debt and financial problems upon her.

I don’t have a problem with other people getting married, however I feel that it isn’t for me. And the tax benefits and other benefits derived from being married isn’t even that good.

Well you’re doin the opposite thing!

How am I doing that? I never said that I had a problem with others getting married, I just don’t personally see the point in it. If someone else wants to get married they are welcome.

What’s the benefit of livin like a bachelor or spinster -bachelorette!

You clearly haven’t been reading a single thing that I have been saying. I didn’t say that I wanted to live alone all my life. I would happily make a personal commitment to live with my boyfriend for the rest of my life.

I just don’t see the point in signing a contract (which is what marriage is) to prove that commitment. I.e. I do not see the point in actually getting to a church or hall and making a confession for whom or whatever to prove that I actually love and care about someone.

Ps. You still haven’t answered any of my questions regarding the so-called benefits of marriage.

WOW, what a way to avoid an argument. Running away from it?

I gave you my reasons for not getting married, yet all you have managed to do is google some random website and copy and paste it. I also gave you a long reply on the website you so randomly googled, but you just ignored that and a few other replies of other members.

And yet, you haven’t even been able to give one good reason about why YOU THINK marriage is a good thing. I know the legal consequences. Studied them for about a year, I also know the tax benefits and certain health benefits. I still don’t personally see why it is a good idea.

I’ll come back when I can find someone mature who is willing to discuss this in this post. Someone who isn’t ignoring what they want to and actually puts in effort in their answers.

Well I don’t have time right now or else I would filled up this page BUT IF YOU’RE NOT DOWN WITH THAT THEN I’VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA: GET MARRIED

The value of being married will show itself if either you or your boyfriend have to go to the hospital. With no legal standing, you/he will be relying on the goodwill of the family.

Ummm, explain in more detail what you mean?

As far as I know in my country you are seen as being a spouse of the person you have been living with for 6 months in terms of our common law. I just don’t see what the purpose is of signing a document and thinking that that is going to make your life perfect all of a sudden.

And if you have a proper medical aid then you won’t have a problem when in hospital. (Oh and almost everyone - literally- in my boyfriends family are doctors.

Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there’s no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits – both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state, but the list typically includes:

Tax Benefits

Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities. Creating a “family partnership” under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.

Estate Planning Benefits

Inheriting a share of your spouse’s estate. Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse. Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts. Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse – that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse’s behalf.

Government Benefits

Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses. Receiving veterans’ and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans. Receiving public assistance benefits.

Employment Benefits

Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse’s employer. Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness. Receiving wages, workers’ compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse. Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse’s close relatives dies.

Medical Benefits

Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility. Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.

Death Benefits

Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures. Making burial or other final arrangements.

Family Benefits

Filing for stepparent or joint adoption. Applying for joint foster care rights. Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce. Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce.

Housing Benefits

Living in neighborhoods zoned for “families only.” Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.

Consumer Benefits

Receiving family rates for health, homeowners’, auto, and other types of insurance. Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities. Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.

Other Legal Benefits and Protections

Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy). Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as alienation of affection and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states). Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can’t force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage. Receiving crime victims’ recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime. Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse. Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family.

I do but sadly my boyfriend doesnt, he lied to me when he asked me “will you marry me?” and “I cant wait to marry you” …nice eh? :|

sigh I can see that it is pointless attempting to have a debate with you jonathan. I’m tired of speaking to a brick wall. Cheers.

Well the bond between an husband and wife is far more deep and strong than that between a boy and girl!

I saw that. Thanks for the response. You seem to have a lively conversation going…

sigh If only I could manage to get a lively response. lol.

Caught you on that one!

So are you going to reply to my previous post?

I saw that. Thanks for the response. You seem to have a lively conversation going… :)

Well listen up close.I’m married and I know what it feels like being married.Its something you can’t explain in words.Its all about love and compassion and sharing each other feelings!

You know that fornication is a sin and agaisnt the law.

According to the Bible, fornication is a sin. But YOU don’t seem to know what ‘fornication’ is in the first place.

Well atleast accept defeat

You haven’t ‘defeated’ anyone. You haven’t even validated your opinion on the subject; you’ve spent this entire time dancing around important information that you have NO response to. So shut up.

Well,I guess then you’re too young to handle this topic!Come back when you’re mature!

Read it, properly (as you can see with my reply above). Still not good enough reason in my opinion to get married. Plus if you’re only getting married for the benefits then it is pointless as well. Or is that just the whole point of it?

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/article-30190.html You better read that!

Oh really,when did I say that!

You don’t have to say it, your tone when speaking of people who aren’t married indicates it. Things like at least they were married shows that you don’t seem to like the idea of people not getting married. I am just merely curious as to why?

I just don’t see what the purpose is of signing a document and thinking that that is going to make your life perfect all of a sudden.

Who’ll know if you’re married!Who would believe that your B.F is your husband!

Those who had what? You seem to like looking down on people who aren’t married. May I ask why that is?

Oh really,when did I say that!

And atleast those who had were marriedhappy

Those who had what? You seem to like looking down on people who aren’t married. May I ask why that is?

The statistics aren’t that high, but they certainly are quite scary. Why is it that you are trying to force your opinion that everyone should get married upon us?

Well you’re doin the opposite thing!

What’s the benefit of livin like a bachelor or spinster -bachelorette!

|Ha ha,marriages populated the earth populationwink and if it weren’t for marriages,we wouldn’t be sittin here!winkwinkwink

Nope, sex did that. You don’t have to get married to have sex or children.

|Ha ha,marriages populated the earth population;) and if it weren’t for marriages,we wouldn’t be sittin here!;););)

Whoa,fake statistics!And atleast they do get married in the first place!

The statistics aren’t that high, but they certainly are quite scary. Why is it that you are trying to force your opinion that everyone should get married upon us?

Why is marriage such a good thing? I can see no obvious benefit from it.

lol clawjaw. I agree with you. People think that getting married is going to solve all problems and that the paper is going to magically erase any issues that was there before.

I feel that if someone wants to get married they should have a very realistic viewpoint about it.

and considering that over 90% of marrage ends in divorce… ha no divorce bill for me.

Whoa,fake statistics!And atleast they do get married in the first place!

you cant defeat a persons opinion mate…

I belive marrige is pointless and I can think straight off the top of my head various reasons why…

but me and ifeelcrazy123 have the same type of thoughts on the subject…

if you were gay and we said we wasnt because we didnt feel attracted to teh same sex would you try and force us to belive that man sex is teh only way to go?

ok its a lil OT but its getting at my point… we all have opinions and yours is marrige is great… but you cant slate the people that think its nonsense :p

Who’ll know if you’re married!Who would believe that your B.F is your husband!

Who has to know? Why is it any of their business? Why do I care if they believe me or not? It’s about my happiness and whether my relationship works, not whether I can prove to the world if I am married or not.

*…or loses his/her job.

Is money that all matters!

ifeelcrazy123, The value of being married will show itself if either you or your boyfriend have to go to the hospital. With no legal standing, you/he will be relying on the goodwill of the family.

Thats common sense.Everything starts with the boy and girl story;););)

Well the bond between an husband and wife is far more deep and strong than that between a boy and girl!

WHY is that and how do you know that other people don’t have such a special bond? So basically what you are saying is the fact that you signed your name and your wife signed hers, MAGICALLY created a bond between you two? So in other words that piece of paper can solve all problems?

It loks liek you have money and law problems so you think marriage is bad!Bad luck for youhappy

Are you going to reply to my previous post? or just ignore it? If you don’t remember I asked you if you agree whether you could have commitment or love without being married? You still haven’t replied jonathan. Why is that? You keep ignoring every valid point I make.

I don’t have money problems and I don’t have law problems. Law pertaining to marriage is more or less consistent right across the world. (At least when it comes to western countries).

Furthermore you haven’t answered which bible you are speaking of?

Why is it that I have to repeat myself in every post here?

It loks liek you have money and law problems so you think marriage is bad!Bad luck for you:)

Well the bible condems it!

Which bible?

Also I am not religious and neither is my boyfriend. So to me (personally) that is something that does not dictate my beliefs regarding marriage.

Also don’t you agree that you can have compassion, love and understanding without getting married?

Well the bible condems it!

You know that fornication is a sin and agaisnt the law.

Its something you can’t explain in words.Its all about love and compassion and sharing each other feelings!

You can have that without getting married. The contract that you sign when getting married is not magically going to give you compassion, and love and the sharing. That has to be there before the marriage.

You know that fornication is a sin and agaisnt the law.

A sin according to what? And it isn’t against the law at all. At least not in my country.

I wont be cus I think marrage is lame…

im sry but all your doing is repeating what a vicar says and going home with a piece of paper that isnt good for anything except wiping your arse with…

and considering that over 90% of marrage ends in divorce… ha no divorce bill for me.

true love is enough to show you love somebody not a piece of loo roll, end of…

adam and eve wernt married: ya know, if ya wanna get biblical lol

im a bachelor which means I have 0 people to answer to, zero, none…

I can have safe sex with who I please

I dont have arguments cus I have no one to have them with

I can sit and watch telly and not have to watch the soaps that women love so mutch lol

its great having the freedom to cum and go as I please ;)

backbyter is right!Well do your parents know that your on your own?

I still live with my parents and my boyfriend with his. Mainly because we are both still busy studying and can’t at the moment study and work permanently. but yes my parents do know that I am not planning of getting married ever. My mother (she and my father has been married for almost 25 years now) even recommended not getting married because of the legal problems that comes your way when your spouse is in hospital or loses his/her job.

Oh don’t wory!You will:);)

Now thats Like a good girl:)

Well atleast accept defeat:)

Wait I’ll catch up later!

Caught you on that one!

backbyter, your post accidentally came through twice. I already replied a few posts back :)

GET MARRIED

Why? I still don’t see a good enough reason for it.

I do …after finishing H.S because my Boyfriend is waiting for me ;-)

And atleast those who had were married:)

I plan to get married , if I ever find mr right…

I never plan to get married. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3.5 years and he agrees that it is pointless :)

backbyter is right!Well do your parents know that your on your own?

Who is the her?

I do plan on getting married, but that’s after I graduate high school, same with her. :)

I find it amusing that you just copied and pasted everything from a website. Next time you should at least be decent and quote your sources…

*Tax Benefits

Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities. Creating a family partnership under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.*

You only get benefits from passive income in my country and that isn’t really that much, because most spouses do not even have passive income with the exception of interest income, which isn’t really that much in the first place. Still not in my opinion a good reason to get married.

Oh and you can ONLY get this benefit if married In COMMUNITY OF PROPERTY, which in my opinion is really not a good option AT ALL in today’s time (my mother and father is bankrupt because they chose this option)

Estate Planning Benefits

Inheriting a share of your spouse’s estate. Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse.

If you have lived with the person for more than 6 months you are considered a spouse in terms of the common law and get this benefit in any case.

Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.

We don’t have those in our country as far as I am aware (I study tax and have not heard of them - in any case for most trusts if you just live together with the person in terms of common law you can use the spousal benefits.

Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse – that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse’s behalf.

You can do that if you are (once again) seen as being spouse in terms of the common law, you can even do that if you are engaged to the person. You don’t have to be married I.e. sign the piece of paper for this right.

Government Benefits

Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses. Receiving veterans’ and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans. Receiving public assistance benefits.

Once again you only have to be considered to be a spouse in terms of the common law and not actually married to have these.

Employment Benefits Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse’s employer. Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness. Receiving wages, workers’ compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse. Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse’s close relatives dies.

I’m not going to quote what I said above again. Point is you don’t have to have actually signed the contract for that in any case.

Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.

Any family member or friend can do that. You do not have to be married to have that exclusive right.

Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.

Once again you don’t have to have signed the contract. The same provisions of the common law applies.

Family Benefits

Filing for stepparent or joint adoption. Applying for joint foster care rights. Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce. Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce. If you are married in terms of the common law (I.e. live together for a specific time) you get the right to equitable division as well.

Housing Benefits

Living in neighborhoods zoned for families only.

Don’t know of any of those in this country.

Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.

That would be his responsibility, why would I automatically want to renew the leases?

Consumer Benefits

Receiving family rates for health, homeowners’, auto, and other types of insurance. Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities. Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.

Such as? can you be more specific?

ifeelcrazy123–

The value of being married will show itself if either you or your boyfriend have to go to the hospital. With no legal standing, you/he will be relying on the goodwill of the family.*

Ummm, explain in more detail what you mean? *

Explanation: In 1984 my live in girlfriend of 3.5 years and I were in a motorcycle accident. I got two broken legs treatable anywhere, my girlfriend however had some very serious issues starting with a pelvis that was broken in 5 places so she had to be flown to a large hospital in the city. Her family could not get to the hospital for a few days. My family did not have the legal right to visit her in ICU so my girlfriend was looking at a couple of days that she would not be able to find out what happened to me, nor would I be able to know what happened to her. (Privacy issues) It turned out that my sister lied and told the hospital that she was my girlfriend’s sister. This was the only way that we were able to find out the extent of her injuries and how close she was to dying. If we had been married, we would have known and my sister would not have had to lie so that my girlfriend would have someone she knew to visit with.

This is the only reason I make the claim of legal standing. Finances are not even thought of at the time.

Since the accident, we did get married and still are.