Where do I stand with this guy?

A guy from my past has just returned from overseas and contacted me to go on a date. I like him a lot, but don’t want to go if he’s likely just to toy around with me.

We were friends for years through uni (college) but I had no idea how he felt until we finally hooked up. It was the strangest thing- the first time we kissed, this confident intelligent man became a nervous, stuttering wreck, telling me, uncontrollably, that he couldn’t believe we were getting together (probably also because he was drunk)!

We were seeing each other for a few months after that- I slept with him once after two months, which I think I regret?- but for some reason, even though I liked him a lot, I threw back many invitations to go on proper dates, and just preferred instead to hang out with him after class in pubs around campus. (I do not know how to date- this was my first time single in 6 years, and a drink seems to calm down the nerves!).

We saw each other much less after semester ended- 3 weeks had gone til the next time we hung out. I went back to his house and found a bra in his room (not mine). I didn’t say anything, just went home and kept pretending I was busy til he stopped calling.

We accidentally bumped into each other when I was out with another guy, and he reacted (not sad- but shocked, nervous more like). After that he wanted to hang out again, but I was too upset… so again, I just kept pretending I was busy til he had to go overseas for uni.

It’s been a year and now he’s back, asking to catch up. I don’t know what to do. I know I acted weird, which must have been confusing for him… but did I do anything wrong? And did he do anything wrong by sleeping with that mysterious bra-girl? We never spoke about being exclusive, but if he really liked me, he wouldnt want to sleep with someone else, right?

Sorry. This is a really narcissistic question but it’s killing me. Where do I stand with this guy?

Answer #1

None of us can answer where you stand with him for sure, fore we are not him. But to me it seems like hes been tottally into you for a long time.. and you jsut kept rejecting him. As for him saying he couldnt beleive he was getting with you… yes it may have been cause he was drunk… but when your drunk your true feelings tend to come out so he could really mean it. You should regret it. You shouldnt regret anything cause at the time it was what you wanted to do - what made you happy. You shouldnt regret something like that. As for mysterious bra-gril. You wont know the for sures untill you were toa actually ask him about it. You cant get offended or unpest over this..even if you want to… You DID reject him a lot and Im sure that hurt his ego. (im jsut re read what you typed he was after you for a longgg time and you rejected him alottt) So he could have just needed a confidence/ego boost. And as you said yo were not in a relationship… You cant get jealous when you regeted him over and over and he went to another girl. But if you notice hes still trying to get with you. She was probably just a one-night stand. If she wasnt why would he br trying so hard to get with you? So even though he does like you yes he couldhave slept with her because he figures yove rejected him so much hes never going to get you. Or maybe he and her got way drunk and he was jsut so upset about you that he “had to get his mind of you” so he tried to by getting with her…if obviously didnt work. Soo my advice woulfd be to give the guy a chance! Meet up with him.. and talk about everything… Explain why youve been avoiding/rejecting him, explain the nerves and everything else. Talking about stuff can go a long ways…people seem to forget this. And if after a while then it doesnt work… Nothing ventured not gained. But if you ask me theres a reason why hes been trying to get with you for awhile.

I hope I helped some, and I hope it all works out. If you need to talk so someone or somthing your welcome to Fun Mail me anytime.

Best Wishes, Daydream Believer.

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