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When should I stop giving her space, and am I doing it right?
From my previous questions, I’ve been asking on how to bring myself back up to who I was prior to her telling me that she wasn’t interested. I pretty much deduced the girl in question wants some time away from me. She hasn’t initiated more than 3 convos online in the past month, she talks to the people around me except me IRL. And when circumstances make it so we have to talk, she prefers to be silent. Some info on her: We used to be really good friends, then I decided to try to really get her attention and show her I loved her - in doing so, I went emo over everything she said, and became really overprotective of her. I would do things for her, and pretty much agreed with everything she said. She didn’t like it in the end, and just told me she has had it, no more relationships until the right time. She says I assume things too much, and her friend told me that the first thing I did wrong was to assume that we were a couple. I made amends, sent her an email apologizing, and asked to speak to her face-to-face, which she turned down. It’s not like I haven’t tried. For the last few weeks, I tried messaging her just once every day, around the same time, just saying hi. In essence, trying to keep things going. Every single time, the convo would just die. I could sense by her replies that she was very annoyed. Before, I could joke around with her, and she would joke back - now I joke, and I get “dot-dot-dot” and all sorts of emotes that express pretty clearly that she isn’t in the mood to be playing around. So, obviously, wrong approach. So for 2 days by now, I’ve stopped messaging her, sending her emails, and I’ve taken steps to ensure that our paths will not meet at school. Yes, I’m giving her the space she needs - many people have told me that even though I may not have moved on, giving her space will allow her to think clearer.
My greatest fear is that she has moved on, and is giving me the cold shoulder. In that case, would giving her space make it worse?
Please offer your advice on what I should do, what I should have done, I want to get through this, and settle this problem before I really do go crazy with the stress I’m handling. I don’t mind if you don’t know how to help - even a word of encouragement would do. Nobody at school will help me - its a personal problem.
Uh, ok, let me get this straight- so this girl is clearly showing all the signs of not being interested in you and kept pushing it? And now you think that giving her space for two days will change everything? And you’re also going crazy with stress as a result of your obsessive actions? Good grief man, get a hold of yourself!
First thing’s first- you’ve permanently ruined your relationship with her. Seriously, after all you did, I’ll be surprised if she ever speaks to you normally again. Your biggest mistake? Assuming that you were a couple. Another mistake? Being so obsessive over her. Going emo over everything she said? Really? Sigh. And you also agreed with everything she said? Good Lord, a girl does not want a relationship with an obedient puppy. Have respect for yourself!
Then, after she told you to back off (not in that form obviously) you kept chasing after her, trying to hold conversations with her, joke with her, even though she would not talk to you longer than necessary and even then with annoyance. Look, two days is not going to fix anything. You have got to stop being so obsessive- let it be. If it doesn’t work it out, then really, you have to realize that it was your fault and learn an important lesson here. Keep it cool and treat her the way she is treating you- don’t be rude or sound annoyed, but don’t push yourself onto her.
It’s too late to regain her respect but you can at least collect the remains of your dignity. And just so you know, she moved on long ago and there’s nothing you can do about that. This is life and you have to move on yourself- there will always be another.
well from what I read it seems tat you wer bein obsesive whit her but I thix tat you shoud do what your heart wants 2 do. but you should give her time 2 thix bout it.hope this helped!!
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