This applys if you have kids or not. If your child had willing sex, what would you do? Would you change your rules to make them stricter? Would you accept it and let them have sex? Would you let them have sex in your house? Would you call the cops?(whoever is the oldest, even by minutes, they will get in trouble and the younger one wont) would you ground them for the rest of there lives? Would you make sure they were always being supervised? Other ideas?
It's all about age. I had sex for the first time at seventeen, for example. My mom was understanding, and told me all about 'responsible' sex, STD's, etc, even though I already knew the facts before attempting the endeavor. I was never allowed to have sex in the house either, nor did I desire to - it was disrespectful, a slap in the face to my parents considering my age, and the fact that I still lived there. Even if I was older and married I wouldn't, it's just a sacred sort of thing. If you and your husband are staying for a while, or living there temporarily, that changes things, but they wouldn't really care then considering... Now my mom is a strict Christian, but she believed in letting us live our own lives, and learn on our own - while offering guidance and support. It would have been different had I been younger, yes, but for good reason.
If my child had sex before puberty, no matter who initiated it or whatever, I would call the police - there really is no excuse for that, and the fact that it wouldn't happen at my house makes a huge difference. I wouldn't let children of the opposite gender play unsupervised, especially since they tend to be extremely curious about each other's privates... The child would be disciplined properly, and have privelages taken away without a doubt.
If my child had sex after puberty, it would depend on when, under fifteen I wouldn't call the cops unless the other teen was older - considering it would likely be considered statutory. If they had sex with someone younger than themselves, the police would likely be called on us. In either situation they really are much too old to spank, so an indefinate grounding and loss of all priveleges whatsoever.
At sixteen I wouldn't be thrilled, but at that age and beyond, it's time to grow up - I'd hope that my teachings would've sunk in enough to prevent them from engaging in something so stupid as unprotected sex, regardless of contraceptives. They are their own person by that age, and there really is no stopping them if they really want to do it. I would definately be there for them, and offer advice and information about such things to keep them safe. I would even get a form of birth control for a daughter, so long as she still used a condom, and took the pills regularly.
So far as having sex in my house, that really would be disrespectful, if they want to do it, they can go elsewhere [god forbid the other's house if they live with their parents] . If I found out my child had been doing this, or caught them in the act, there would be severe consequences as well as the other teen's parents being called, and punishing them from seeing each other outside of specific times and places indefinately. If they were married and older, and staying with me for some reason, whatever. It's not like they would be stopping by for a quickie. In no way, shape, or form would my sons or daughters be allowed with a member of the opposite sex - whether it's a boy/girl-friend, or just a buddy - anywhere I couldn't moniter them. Not in the bedrooms especially. If they are at my house they would be eating with us, watching a movie, or just hanging out in the den or outside.
I wouldn't really 'allow' them to have sex, so to speak, but once they hit sixteen or seventeen, they are making their own choices, and I won't go out of my way to keep them a virgin, but they will be ground rules for avoiding it, especially in my house - and I would hope such things would take place at the other home as well. If they ever had sex while my child was living in my house, it would have to have been a late night rendezvous, or a sneaky daylight one, or perhaps a quickie while I was out... and all would land them in trouble like they'd never seen.
I would have to say what I chose to do would depend almost ENTIRELY on the age of the child. 9-12yrs? uhhh... I'd either call the cops or put a hit out on whoever he or she willingly had sex with. 12-15yrs? I'd punish the child severely (not abusively, but a memorable spanking would be in order to begin with, definitely) spanking, then grounded for a GOOD while with lots of priveleges taken away and definitely a shorter curfew... 16-17yrs? grounded, priveleges removed... not much point in spanking, I think kids learn to ignore them by that point anyway. probably much rather be spanked then say, having driving priveleges taken away anyway so I say take the keys... 18 and up, not much you can do. I certainly wouldnt let them do it in my house though, when I do have kids. im 19 and im still not allowed to have sex in my parents's house, I dont think I ever will be, my brothers 24 and hes not allowed to do it here either so there ya go.
and what ever age they are make sure and talk to them about using condoms and make sure they know that STDs can and will happen if theyre not being safe, I used to think my town didnt have that stuff because I was a little sheltered but now I know of a lot of my old friends who have had them at this point, and im talking about the 18-20yrs age group here.
anyway these are just general ideas tho on what to do, I dont know what is the RIGHT thing to do. I guess just get to know your kids, try to figure out what will affect them personally and make them not want to have sex.
I am a nudist with 4 teen kids no subject has ever been taboo and my oldest did not have sex till he was seventeen nearly eighteen my other three havnt as yet and not that interested in doing so .I am not saying their little angels but being brought up totally informed I think has definitly helped .I have caught them pleasuring and daughter 69ing another girl but all teens experiment its the way you approach it that matters .You dont want to give them a lifelong complex. If you tell them not too they are definitly going to try it because kids will be kids .If you talk to them openly and treat them like young adults then they can make an informed decision for themselves with their parents backing and hopefully be safe .Believe me once they make up their mind there is no stopping them so rather help them make the right decision at the right time .Parents need to remember they were kids once and bet they were no angels ,I know I wasnt and wish I had been able to talk to my prudish parents as my kids talk to me today ,I think I would have done things a lot differently ,however we can only learn from the past and hopefully make the present and future better .I hope my kids will always feel able to turn to me no matter what unlike me who did not have parents like us to turn to often to scared to say anything to them and left to deal with our problems on our own or having to turn to friends.
I think that the best way to go about this is obvioulsy if you have a girl talk to her about birth control and if you have a boy even though it may be ackward teach him about using condoms and why they are so important even talk to the girl about condoms. I am only 20 years old and you would be suprised how many girls think that you can't get an std when on the pill. When my mother found out I was having sex she just talked to me about safety precautions and it made me feel like I had someone to turn to and that with any ? I had I wasn't afraid to ask her. Although she sure didnt make it a convinence for us to have sex. I would say to monitor your child still until you know for sure that whom ever she I sexually active with are practicing safe sex. I thank my mom till this day for just talking to me and being a little more strict about what I was doing. they may not like it at first but they will learn to appreciate it in the long run.
This depended on the age. Under the age of 15, if my kid was more than just a little younger, yes I'd call the cops. If they were older, they'd better believe they wouldnt see the light of day for a while. Between 15-17, if my child was sleeping with someone older than 18, I'd call the cops. If they were having sex after the age of 16 but not with someone much older, I dont know. It's a tough call. I'm not a parent. You cant ground a kid for the rest of their lives. And there's no such thing as 24/7 supervision. Unless you homeschool the kid and are willing to be on guard duty. Which I think is ridiculous.
I dont know. I think a lot of times if you raise your kid to be respectful of their parents and themselves, it does not happen. Sometimes it happens regardless. Kids are not perfect. You cant expect them to be. Once they're 18 and adults, really that's their choice.
depends on how old your kid is... and remember kids dont just get up and decide they want to do it with the girl next door... they are reflecting a behavior that is learned...is sex a topic up for discussion often? are there older siblings that are maybe sexually active? are you openly sexually active... if soo than thats your problem... there are some things that kids just dont need to know at a certain age... yes they learn about it in school but they also learn the negative aspects too I.e. pregnancy. sti'd and std's. somewhere along the line your kid learned it was ok to bang people without being married to them.
I think it all depends on how the child has been growing up, there are kids who need attencion whos perents have not be there and they wanna be loved... there are the ones who grew up seeing the whole family take ditions like that...
A child is the mirrow of the perent. Can a child realize when the perent is wrong and can he or she make something else out if themself... yes they can.
So it all depends...
I agree with what ty has said.
It depends on the child, the age, the boyfriend, the circumstances and whether or not they are using protection. However I do know that if I have a kid ever (highly unlikely) that I would educated them about sex, pregnancy and the consequences of their actions.
I'm pretty sure my oldest has had sex. I told him several times not to make me a grandfather yet, and have drilled into him the risks of disease. If he has responsible sex, why should I care? It's pretty normal.
Kids/Teens are going to have sex, I lost my virginity at 15 because my parents told me not to have sex and I got sick of it. And my sister had sex and snuck around to do it so you can't stop it.
