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ok so let me set the stage for what happened this weekend. I have a friend I have not seen in a year and a half. I know she is a bit crazy and I know her and I ahve a past with being umm very close with one another. Well we invite her over, because we know she is promicuous and my fiance has a friend that is just looking for no strings attatched fun. Well we all get toasty drunk, and then ehad to the hot tub area at the apartments. Things ge t abit out of hand and my boy asks me to umm mess with her down south in the hott tub. I was not comfortable with it but I did it anyways. I had trouble and couldnt finish her so he asked me if it was ok with me if he did. I was hurt by this and felt useless ebcause I couldtn do it right so I todl him I dont care and I left the area.
I trust that things went as he says. He said he just saw it as a challenge as she kept on saying it is not easy to make her finish. I felt useless, hurt, cheated, and disgusting. I did not want to be touched or anyhting. He was with the other two girls for abotu 10 minutes and when he came back to me I denied him I wouldnt even let him touch my arms. I was hurt as heck. He says he thoguth ti was ok because I told him a couple times to go ahead and do it. The truth is I yes told him to but I was hruting so bad and felt so terrible abotu the whole thing that I just didnt want him around me for a while. I wanted to disappear and drive off a cliff or something.
So my question is how should I take this. We are both trying hard to voer come it. We still both want to be married, and we both love each other. He has applogised ot me a million times, and swears to me he just used his fingers, he siad it wasnt great, he didnt enjoy it that way, which I believe as he was soft when hereturned to me. and if he had gotten off he would have still been hard. I just dont know I am still so hurt, hos do I get over it and move one, am I wrong?
He doesnt get soft after ejaculation ever, he is always hard for a bit afterwards, it usualy takes him about 10 minutes to settle down. For the first comment actually things between him and I before this were fine, we communicate well, and honestly this is the frist time we have really had an upset. We always talk abotu everything, infact he has to pull things out of me at least half the time ebcaus eI am the one that does not want to tlak. He is a very great guy and I aggree that this is soemthign that neither one of us should have been involved in. I have promised him a three some anduntil I came up with HPV I was still willing to do it,but I learned form this that I cant handle the thought of him touching another girl. COunseling is a great idea infac tI am thinking now abotu taking him to my therapist with me as I am already in treatment for an eating disorder.
The girl that he did it with was about 280 pounds at least (I am the smallest of that gourp of friends of mine). He siad it was a challenge, he is a guy that if you challenge him then he has to prove it wrong. he is not this way with me but with others
Dear lilbluemermaid, There is an old saying...you cannot unring a rung bell: meaning that what is done is done and you can never, ever change that. If you are thinking of marriage you both need to get into counselling. You both will have guilt and regret over what has happened and this will eventually break you up unless dealt with. This type of messing around isn't for couples who are committed to each other and this is not something that either of you should have agreed to do so quickly so I am adventuring to say things were not all rosy before this. So this may be the push you both need to get help with your relationship and to really evaluate it. Perhaps marriage is not really what you both should be doing any time soon. Sue...good luck
be truthful to urself and look the monster in the eye...he is a good for nothing dont waste your time and energy with someone who "finishes off" other girls instead of staying with his OWN girlfriend...
P.S male organs get soft after ejaculating so him being soft is one problem and another thing...I've never met a guy who wouldnt get hard by fingering or KISSING a girl
good luck
