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I feel like there is nothing left to life, or rather that I am living life, but not experiencing it. its become so mundane and brain numbingly boring. like a slow torture, like a slow never ending dance where there is no change in step, or rhythm, or music to which you dance. my life is so predictable, I could honestly close my eyes and walk through my daily life with ease, thats how routine it is. I sometimes want to do something illegal, and get caught by the police, just so I could run, perhaps run forever, into the unknown, just for some excitement, just for some change, and if I got caught and sent to prison, I would mind that, it would just add some more interest. I dont know what to do to my life to make it interesting, it dosnt seam there is anything I can do. is this all there is to life? just to merely exist? to be? just material beings in a spiritual world, to run through routine and patterns, to walk the path walk by so many before us? just like machines, doing the same thing, hour after hour, day after day, year after year, life after life, generation after generation. is there no escape, is there nothing wild left in the world? nothing raw, nothing unrefined, unpolluted by humanities all consuming desire for conformity and a uniform existence?
I feel like im a free man locked in a prison of my own design, that is how my life has become. I wish to be free, but what is freedom any more, but just another path tred by millions before you.
A friend of mine on here (hysterical) pointed out your question. It's very well expressed. Thank you for posting it. Per a discussion that I, said friend, and another friend (zoe_hasaloneyheart) had as a response to this, we determined that perhaps you should add some unpredictability to your life by using the obvious writing talents you have. You can find some poetry slams around at a local cafe or college hangout and simply express your ideas to the world. As you can see, people like what you have to say. You just need a venue to express it in (beyond this simple question and answer site). There are poetry contests everywhere, and if you are a talented musician, you may convert these thoughts to song. There are a number of options out there, all of which could change your life and the lives of those listening for the better.
Well, for some reason, since I started smoking marijuana I never felt like my life was empty. It may not have to do with the marijuana though, possibly just a coincidence. Also, I am not saying that I am high all of the time, but I now have a better outlook on line and I am much more motivated to succeed in life.
It's nice to know I can relate, all I can say is that since you are only 17-18, there is plenty of time for excitement. Think about it, you have only lived a small portion of your life. Live, go with the flow. I used to get in trouble at school for excitement. I used to walk for miles, once I walked 40 miles, and the want to get back home made me appreciate my life much more. Try something extreme but not too extreme so that it affects your future life. Be daring and spontaneous!
First of all, I'd like to just say this is extremely poetic and I loved reading it, because I can totally relate to you. Emptiness, the feeling of everyday being exactly like the previous one. All I can tell you, is that you never know what'll happen in the future. As long as we're alive there are chances, hopes, dreams, anything. Wishes will keep being made, and dreams will keep being dreamt. Obstacles that await us, and all we have is the firm belief that one day a spark will ignite. And we'll feel complete. I keep going because I look forward to where I end up, and that's where I'll put myself. Life's not uncontrollable, it's whether or not you took the time to jump in and grab the wheel. Life's what YOU make it.
Good luck, my friend.
WOAH! Thats like my life... sorta. Listen if life is no more than a routine, then whats jail gonna do? You do the same thing over and over again. Running away? No, not a good idea. You don't know how to survive. Live out your life. You don't know whats out there. There is always an endless supply of significance. You can change your life into anything. Look at the people around you. Each choice you make will make a difference. Change your way, experiment on how people feel to different actions. Maybe you'll get somewhere good, or somewhere bad. I'm hoping that you go the right way.
well life is short and you only have one shot at it, im not sayin live everyday like its your last its kind of a wrong way to look at life, but rather if you want to be a career criminal or a humanitarian just do what makes you happy and dont let anyone tell you whats right or wrong
