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what does it mean when someone says against the grain should be a way of life
Yes, but not in the context that nbfan put it, in connection with a way of life.
That would indicate that the whole saying means that being different, not doing like most other people, should be more widespread - More people should dare to go against the generally accepted ways of being and doing.
Example: "Why can't you just do it the way everyone else does? Why do you always have to go against the grain?"
dare to be different dare to be you dare to live
