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Hi there :) Please share your opinions of my poetry, and if you feel like there's something I need to improve, please tell me. I accept constructive critisism. :D
[[worth it]] After this worthless life is through, When no one remembers you. After the smiles hidden with belligerence, And hours of prayer for deliverance Get forgotten and forever lost, You'll ask if it was worth it. To take your life, To just end it. I have no answers, So they don't ask me But no one can see the little suicide attempt inside of me...
[[cyanide]] The cyanide and razorblades Hidden in the glove box, My heart ticking away like a clock. Vision seems to fade, Seconds seem like days. Minutes seem like years, and screaming is all I hear. Will you notice me once I'm covered in blood? Once you see that my life is done? When I'm screaming your name You're so distant. Now the screamind and this life Are finished...
[[the last night]] I sa all the signs, But didn't say a word. It never crossed my mind, This tragedy for the world. He said it was too much, That he couldn't take it. And now he's gone, Won't ever wake up. Didn't get to say bye, After the last fight. But I didn't know it was our last night.
[[without him]] He did it, Why can't I? End my pain. End my life. Without him I'm nothing. A life of tears. A life of suffering. Nothing to live for. Just more to cry for. Another tear in my heart, Another scar on my arm. Just one deep cut, What could it harm?
[[dead people don't bleed]] We don't do it for attention, Or to show that we're depressed. We do it to stop the voices, The feelings that get surpressed. Looking our best in black & blue, We do it because they won't say I love you. It's done to diminish Thse thoughts we don't need. To show us we're alive Because dead people don't bleed.
So those are a very few of my poems, written in the past 24 hours. Please leave advice =]
I love them. they really hit home with me and your line in the last one that is like, "We do it to stop the voices, The feelings that get surpressed. Looking our best in black blue, We do it because they won't say I love you" just completly true with me. and I hope you've never actually gone through any of this. but this is amazing poetry that I definitly enjoyed reading, my only advice is to write more :) you make my poetry look like first grade work haha
I don't see any problems all your poems were beautiful and deep, they showed emotion and had meanings inbetween the lines.
thanks guys(: and to volleeit18 I'm sure yours is great. you should post it, and I'll definitely check it out.
thes are great poems,its really deep I think its great
