What do I do now, can I convince her to do what is right?

I have just come out of a long term relationship about a month ago, and I am now ready to move on.

I have liked this girl, lets call her Jane. I have liked her for a little while now, and had previously liked her when she didnt know I existed. I am definitely not afraid to express my feelings towards her, I have already told her..

One problem, she is in a very crap relationship that was good, but is now past bad.. only its bee going on for 2 years. I have told her time and time again to talk to me, and she does, I know a lot about it and I know her true feelings.

One thing I have NOT said, is to leave him as I can do a much better job. We are good friends, she knows I want more.. it was discussed between us, she said its best to be mates whilst she has a boyfriend (I completely agree)

It is just making me feel so bad as I really really do like this “Jane”. I know for sure I can treat her the way she wants, I know for sure that it will not wear off! its just so hard to see her go down, she is extremeley unhappy in her relationship but will not let it go.

Where do I start?

  1. She trusts me
  2. She talks to me
  3. We have the odd lunch or coffee as mates to talk about this
  4. We chat, txt and communicate on a daily basis BUT she still does not do what she knows is right. I have asked her what she should do, she told me exactly what I want to hear.

On the other hand, I am NOT trying to break them up, whatever she is happy with has to do. If they break up, I will be the shoulder to cry on.. I want to be there as a mate and hopefully I can take it from there at a later date..

Theres the story, my question is: What do I do now? Im in a very frustrating period where she is stalling, avoiding the situation and not being fair on herself..

Answer #1

Although it is really nice of you to be there for her it sounds as if she already has you without having to make a commitment to you. You are there for her everyday so there really is no reason for her to change her relationship with the boyfriend even if it is a bad one. For her making that change is very scary and she knows she can live with the way things are right now so she either keeps putting it off or she has no intention of doing it.

You need to ask her what her plans are and when she plans on doing it. If she doesn’t follow through then you’ll need to look elsewhere for a romatic relationship. Hanging out indefinately waiting for her, no matter how much you feel is not a wise choice.

Answer #2

You can’t push her to leave her current relationship. She ultimately is the one who makes that decision. If you are willing to wait for her, then that is your choice. However, you can’t wait forever. You have told her how you feel and she has to make a choice between her current boyfriend and you.

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