Does it feel good or bad to be anorexic?

let me tell you how bad it feels…and how long you feel bad for if you don’t get help and stop being obsessed with the desire to be thin. I am 43 years old and have been battling this disease since I was about 12. I have been hospitalized countless times, with heart attacks, kidney failure, liver failure. It seems like a really long time ago that being thin felt good. I felt high, euphoric, on top of the world. Now I just always feel like crap. My body hurts all the time…and the only thing that helps my body to feel better is to eat. And then my mind goes crazy on me. Have you ever heard of the committee of assholes that resides in our heads? You know, the ones that tell you you are never good enough, never thin enough, never smart enough, that you are stupid and a loser etc etc. After eating is when they kick in. I know you are probably thinking, well, I’m not like that. Just put the word ‘yet’ at the end of the sentence if you are determined to keep on the path of self destruction. I have lost everything through this disease: my marriage, my child, my career, my family have completely back edoff and won’t have any more to do with me. Shall I go on?

I hope you make a decision for life instead of death, because being an anorexic is hell on earth. It is a prison of the mind that becomes so all consuming it destroys everything in it’s path.