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I don't have much support in getting over Bulimia
Basically I had Bulimia for over a year and every week I go to a doctor (I’ve been going to her for about 6 months now). I know well that the recovery from an eating disorder is long and that it takes a lot of time, however my parents (expecially my mum) don’t understand that. Whenever I go through a bad period they immediately notice, start saying that the treatment is not working, that I’m not trying hard enough and threaten to put me in a hospital. however when I’m trying they don’t notice and act as thought I never had an eating disorder. I don’t have any support from them; they blame me for it and lately even stated that it is making the family fall apart as well as starting to scare my brothers (I have to brothers, aged 14 and 11) . I hate myself, I don’t have any motivation, I feel like I am a waste of space and I feel so lonely that I cry myself to sleep every night and everyday before school. I have no idea how to carry on; my life at home is hell, my life in school is hell. sometimes I just want to end it all to stop causing my family trouble; I cant help but think how good their lifes would be without having to stress about their daughter’s stupid mood-swings, purging/binging behaviour and depression. I have no idea what to do…
Make sure you tell your therapist everything that’s going on and all your thoughts and feelings.
Fun Mail a “sounding board”!
I would assume that you can’t talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don’t want others to know about it in relation to you.
The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone’s advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a “sounding board” and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn’t have any concerns about your privacy.
Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I’d suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don’t contact them by that “Ask me a question” link. That’s public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the “Send me Fun Mail” link on the left side of the page.)
You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the “Send me Fun Mail” link near the top of the Answer under the person’s name.
Simply a Rose to brighten your day, And maybe lessen the cares in your way; And also, too, to help you to know, That in knowing you, many others grow!
TURN TO GOD HE CARES AND WIIL HELP YOU TO OVER COME ANYTHING. FIND A GOOD CHURCH TO ATTEND AND PUT YOU ENGERY INTO THAT AND YOU WILL FIND PEOPLE WHO CARE AND ASK GOD TO HELP AND HE WILL EVERYTIME. JUST TRY IT AND YOU WILL SEE FOR YOURSELF NO STRING ATTACHED,
Keep in mind that your parents are also acting out on their own despair. Naturally, every time you take a turn for the worse, they are going to think that the problem has returned.
Maybe your parents could see the doctor with you, so they can at least get a professional opinion on how the treatment is working.
You have a tough battle to get through, but don’t give up - you have the strength to pull through this.
I know it is hard for kids to think about parents as people too… but they are terrified and scared and they probably blame themselves… I know it’s a lousy way to show it, but they are only doing what they’re doing because they care about you…
“They immediately notice” - that is how much they care about you… I know it can be annoying and it can seem frustrating, but they are so scared at this point that they are hypervigilant… If they didnt care they’d ignore your problems…
You have a family that loves you and you deserve to be alive, just remind yourself of that.
I was in the hospital and my mother was going on about how this was affecting her… it’s not because she doesnt care about me, it’s because she was so scared she cant think about it, and so she focuses on herself… and that’s what your parents are doing… it is so scary to think about losing you that they focus on how it’s affecting them…
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