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How do I trust him again?

A few weeks ago there was an issue with my boyfriend.. a girl came to me saying stuff happened between them.. It’s all done and over with. He’s in the army, so he’s always working. I can’t help but always think he’s lying about everything.. even if I don’t have a reason to think he’s lying, but because of what happened in the past, I feel like he’s going to do something. He gets stressed out easily, and being in the army doesn’t help much and I don’t want to add stress, but I’ll go the whole day without hearing from him. And he was gonna spend the weekend with me, and just now he told me he’s not allowed to leave base. I feel like asking him what he wants from me, cuz if he doesn’t wanna be with me I don’t want to waste my time with him.. I’m just.. grr.. what do I do?

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Answer #1

Hm..I know relationships like that can be hard. I’m in a similar one right now. They are harder, especially, if there isn’t mutual trust between the partners. If he’s easily stressed and thinks that you and your worries are just more stress, then maybe a real relationship just isn’t something he can handle right now.

If you have the fear, even the slightest doubt, that he’s being true to you, then I would suggest maybe taking a step back or stepping up and just asking him. These kinds of relationships take time and strength to grow solid. But they can’t if you have doubts about the other person all the time, because then we get paranoid and defensive. The best thing to do, I think, would be to really talk things over with him and let him know that you want this, but if he doesn’t think he can handle it then maybe you need to take some time off from eachother. I know it’s not the path you want to take or what you want to think about, but it sounds like he needs to get it together.

Answer #2

If he’s in boot camp, he can’t leave the base….is that the case? When you get together with him next time, face to face…..TELL HIM that your friend talked to you, and that you’re having trust issues. The only thing that can build trust is honesty and availability (make that reasonable availibility)….since he’s away right now. You know he won’t be available when he’s working, but he needs to be ready and able to take a call from you, willing to reassure you, and go the whole mile to restore lost trust.

You guys NEED to talk face to face….no phones….no text…..

p

Answer #3

No, what happened was he got in trouble when he was on leave… so they pulled his leave and made him come back to base. But it was all a misunderstanding and the cops realized they made a mistake. A few days ago he was saying he was going to spend the weekend with me, so I asked him when he was coming and he said he wasn’t allowed to leave base. I just need to be reassured and he doesn’t do that.. So I feel like he’s always lying.

Answer #4

u have to let go and forgive whatever he did to u and if ucan’t find it in u then move on or u will always question him and every other guy u will with

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