This is getting annoying!

I have this friend thats a guy he’s been tryna get wit me for a year now,saying I love you and everything, but I dont like him that way. So on thursday he said “im done” like he was gonna stop trying. So I said finally. He called me yesterday actin mean. Callin me fat and making fun of anything I say, and when we’re on 3way I say hold on, and he starts talking about me behind me back. Its really annoying! What should I do? I cant even stand talking to him anymore, and on myspace he’s doing the same thing. Im not going to deal with his method of tryna get over me. Im thinking about not talking to him anymore but should I tell him why im not talking to him, or should I just stop, or should I just let him talk bad about me?

Answer #1

wow he’s a idiot tell him to get a life uggh I hat guys like that I’ve been there curse him out lol I don’t know what to do dis guy still annoys me when I see him such a loser

Answer #2

A lot of guys do get like this because the pain of rejection can be hard to take. This might not be his way of getting over you, it seems more as if he is blaming you in a way. The pain you caused him was unintentional (you simply didn’t feel the same way). Sometimes when something like this happens, the guy will think only about the pain that he felt (rather than actually reasoning with himself) and then thinks about it in simple terms. Those simple terms would be “I was in pain; that pain was associated with her; she caused me pain”. It can be an internal emotional defense mechanism in that he is reaching the most simple conclusion possible to stop him from having to think about it more (and what he did wrong, etc).

When guys get into phases like this, they need to be communicated with. Get in touch with him in the most appropriate way that you can and explain to him what the situation is. He needs to be told that you were not trying to hurt him. Just because he feels that way about you does not mean you have to feel the same. Just as right now just because he dislikes you (or is implying that he does) doesn’t mean you are going to dislike him. Let him know that as a friend you really care about him and this behaviour of his in quite unacceptable. He is intentionally hurting you and this far outweighs what he has been so offended by.

Tell him he can keep talking behind your back and making you feel bad, but at the end of the day it gets him nowhere and that all it proves is that you have always been the better person and that perhaps it is attitude problems/ behaviours like this that have stopped you from ever liking him the way he liked you. He needs to grow up and accept the fact that not everyone is going to want to be with him and that he has to be patient and wait for someone who feels the same way. If he truly cared about you, then even now he would remember and treasure how much your friendship meant to him (he did like you for a reason and he probably still does). The pain of rejection can make people seem hateful/ withdrawn, but it is often a bit of a negative facade.

Put your cards on the table. Tell him that you consider him to be your friend and you are always going to be there for him when he needs you. But, if all he is going to do is hurt you and feel sorry for himself (in relation to being rejected) then you want to have nothing to do with him. Tell him you will never talk behind his back and that if he wants to, it’s his choice (you can’t really stop him). Just let him know that nothing will come of it and if anything it will only make him feel more and more empty. That’s how things like that work.

Hopefully he will understand what you are saying and admit that he has done you wrong. Some people do get a bit insatiable and a bit selfish and it’s normal, but if it continues and gets increasingly worse, then there is a real problem (for him and those around him). Just let him know that you care about him and that you feel your life is better with him in it (just as a friend) and that you don’t want that to change. If he decides to go in the other direction, not much can be done. Just tell your common friends (meaning those friends of yours who also associate with him) that if he is to talk behind your back, then they should take no part in it (this will take away his momentum and maybe even provoke some thought).

Opening up is always good and this guy really needs to be reasoned with. Great people are always coming into our lives and can often leave just as quickly as they arrive. There will be others out there and he needs to be reassured of that. I hope that helps :)!

More Like This

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

Get Over a Breakup

Relationships, Self-help, Personal development

TheMatchmakers

Social Services, Relationships, Marriage

Online Love Problem Solution ...

Astrology Services, Relationship Counseling, Online Services

Freetarotcardreader

Tarot card reading, Love and relationships, Spirituality

Findabrides

Mail Order Bride Services, Online Dating, Relationships