The Boyfriend

You’re questioning yourself as if you’re trying to convince yourself, which isn’t good, that shows your not ready. Age really isnt a number, that is soo oldschool, so that’s not the issue at hand. But, just because you feel like you want to do it, doesn’t mean your ready, even if you love him or not, cause who knows, that can all change, esp. since its only been a month . Get to know him better, cause what if you do decide to do it, he tells all his friends, you gave it up after one month, esp. at your age, 13, it’ll be terrible going to school with that being said in the hallways. Can you honestly trust him? Try other things to release your sexual energy, like making out in postions? I don’t know , but you seem smart because your considering your age, you’ll figure it out, GOODLUCK:]

Well you have herd this a lot I bet but your too young to be having sex. Yes you may love eachother but I think its best for you to wait. And if he really loves you he will respect your desicion and wait.

I really hoped I helped. Enjoy being young while you can.

well you see the whole love thing.. we have known each other since we were little kids and we have like each other for forever…and he just now got the courage to ask me out and I said yes…so thats how I think I do love him

The thing is when you’re younger in every relationship you think that you’re in love when most of the tme you aren’t. You have only been dating for a month. He sounds like the kind of guy who could get you pregnant and leave you. Don’t make a decision you may regret later.

If you’re 13 years old, it would be illegal for you to have sex with someone. Also, the age difference makes things worse. If the word gets out (and it always does) this 20 year old could risk going to prison for having sex with an underage girl. To society, you are still a child. This may sound unfair or false, but 13 is more of a child than a young adult. If you really do love each other, you should wait until you are legally allowed to have sex. That’s about as much advice I can give you. it’s up to you if you want to listen to it.

well your 13 think aout think consequences baby girl you havte rest of your life if you get pregnant no more movies friends hangout shopping but istead you home feeding the baby and what if he just wants to get in your pants the leaves then you have to raise the baby alone I had sex when I was 14 now imma dad im 15 now I regret every moment of it but gladly me and my girlfreind ae stil together are parents are supporting so thats a lil stess off tha shoulders but think bout it you have school andthen you bby has to go to school you cant live alone yet not along with a baby saying ommy feed me tink about it I a ruin yur future

first of all its VERY hard to tell if you really do love each other right now, it takes a LOT more time than that. if you’re asking the question or doubting it at all then don’t do it! you should be 100% comfortable with him & trust him completely before you do something like that. if you feel like you’re too young then you’re right…if he really loves you & wants to be with you for a while he’ll wait for it & still stay with you. I hope you do the right thing, good luck.

but give me advice on my question

Here is something you need to read!

TEN REASONS I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND

1. Everyone’s doing it. First of all, you’re not “everyone.” You are a thinking person who can make your own good choices. Second, everyone’s not doing it. It just seems like it sometimes. It’s true that about half of teens today are sexually active. But that means half are not having sex. Of course, you wouldn’t know that from watching movies or television! Sex sells, so they show it. Even if what is constantly on the screen looks good and makes you curious or anxious to try it yourself, remember that most of what you see is a lie. Models are airbrushed, sex scenes are carefully choreographed, and the relationships shown aren’t real. The media’s purpose is to entertain. It rarely focuses on the inner feelings of individuals with goals and values. Don’t buy the lie that life revolves around people having sex.

2. I enjoy sex. Do you really? Most teenage girls don’t. They find it rushed, unromantic and awkward. Many feel empty and used, with regrets in the morning. Studies prove the best sex is married sex with its vows of love and security. Sex, like fire, is powerful, wonderful and important. But both are also potentially dangerous. Fire in the fireplace is safe and enjoyable, while flames that get out of control can be horribly destructive. The same is true with sex. Physical intimacy in a fully committed, faithful marriage is awesome. Outside healthy boundaries, though, it is unfulfilling and without true promise. Girls do not enjoy short-term pleasure when it ends with long-term pain.

3. I like that it gives me control. Sure, you can get a guy to breathe heavy and be lost in the passion of sexual pleasure. You can get a temporary thrill. But let’s be honest. You’re sacrificing some of your own good character. Also, things that seem controlled can spin out of control quickly (And please don’t kid yourself that oral sex isn’t sex - it has all the same risks of unmarried intercourse except pregnancy). Sexual response is natural in guys. Just because your boyfriend is turned on doesn’t prove anything about his feelings or intentions toward you. You’ll be smarter to spend your time on worthwhile things that you totally control and can be proud of in the long run. Do a job especially well, become more disciplined in your studies, eat healthier, change your hair color, etc. And, know that waiting for marriage shows ultimate control of your own body.

4. -It makes me feel loved and attractive. Why don’t you take a poll, asking women if they thought their first boyfriend would be their one true love? Many gave away their virginity with the idea that feelings of love and commitment were mutual. But the truth is that the younger you are when you start having sex, the more partners you will likely have over your lifetime.1 Very few women are now married to those first boyfriends. That means each woman had to explain something to the man she chose in the end: He was not the first to unwrap what should have been her beautiful wedding gift to him. The decision of who will have the honor of being your husband takes time, maturity and life experience. You will have greater difficulty in forming and sustaining a stable marriage and also in finding personal happiness if you begin sexual activity in your teens.2 Waiting is so worth it!

5. I’m in love. He’s the only one I’ll ever be with. Why don’t you take a poll, asking women if they thought their first boyfriend would be their one true love? Many gave away their virginity with the idea that feelings of love and commitment were mutual. But the truth is that the younger you are when you start having sex, the more partners you will likely have over your lifetime.1 Very few women are now married to those first boyfriends. That means each woman had to explain something to the man she chose in the end: He was not the first to unwrap what should have been her beautiful wedding gift to him. The decision of who will have the honor of being your husband takes time, maturity and life experience. You will have greater difficulty in forming and sustaining a stable marriage and also in finding personal happiness if you begin sexual activity in your teens.2 Waiting is so worth it!

6. It brings us closer together. It’s natural that you would feel close. Women do feel bonded emotionally to their sexual partners. Men are not wired that way, however. Their primary focus is on physical satisfaction. So, you might get along better on the surface because you are both having your immediate needs met. But, you shouldn’t mistake that for real intimacy. What you really need is to have common interests and beliefs. If you don’t have fun eating out, going to a movie or just talking, you don’t have a solid relationship that will last. In fact, you might stay with a boyfriend longer than you should because of what you have invested physically. The eventual break up will tear you apart as you grieve over what you gave away and can never get back.

7. We’ve dated a long time . . . it’s the next step. It’s true there is a natural order to things. For sexual intimacy, it’s best to be friends first with a slow progression toward marriage (and an exciting honeymoon!) and then possibly parenthood. When sex is put first, it can negatively impact everyone involved: • Children born outside of marriage who often grow up in single parent homes. • Women who now can’t have kids because of damaging STDs they got from sexual partners along the way. • Parents who had hoped their teens would not have the worries and dangers that come with teenage sex. Be smart. Set limits (no touching in bathing suit areas) before each date. Surround yourself with supportive friends and go out with guys who respect your stand. Stick with healthy first and next steps in your dating relationships.

8. My boyfriend will break up with me if I don’t. Breaking up is a possibility whether you are having sex or not. Nothing outside of a faithful, committed marriage has promise. And think about it. If your boyfriend says you are special enough that he wants to share bodily fluids, shouldn’t he think you’re special no matter what? Is a guy worth having if he threatens to move on because you won’t take physical risks with him? There are a lot of great guys out there who won’t put that kind of pressure on you. There are some very responsible guys who won’t get you drunk so that your defenses are down, giving you an “excuse” to have sex. (FYI - More than a third of sexually active young people report that alcohol or drugs have influenced their decisions about sex.)3 There are guys who will agree with and support your decision to save sex for marriage, guys who will respect you, now and in the morning. Hold out for one of those guys. They do exist!

9. I owe it to him. So, he treats you well. Maybe he buys you beautiful jewelry and gets you things you need but can’t afford. Or, he takes you exciting places and helps you get through difficult family circumstances. A desire to thank a generous boyfriend is totally appropriate. But, there are lots of ways to express gratitude that don’t involve sex. Be creative: Cook him a delicious dinner, go with him to a ball game, bake brownies, make a scrapbook, frame a picture, write a poem or run an errand for him. A relationship is not a game where you keep score. Your body is not some prize to be awarded to the lucky winner. Don’t ever tell yourself - or let a guy make you feel - that you “owe” your boyfriend. After all, unselfish people give their kidneys to complete strangers and even they don’t expect sex in return!

10. It’s not that big a deal. There are a lot of young women who would tell you differently. In fact, one survey says that of those who have had sex, 8 in 10 young women ages 13-21 wish they had waited longer (6 in 10 guys say so).4 It becomes a big deal when it catches up with you. Consequences could include any one of 30 sexually transmitted diseases! Bacterial STDs don’t always have symptoms. They are often untreated and unknowingly passed on to others. Viral STDs have no cure. None. And, of course, there is a chance of pregnancy. Condoms and birth control pills are not always effective. They are definitely not the answer. Every year one in four sexually experienced teens acquires an STD and about 1 million teenage women become pregnant.5 Even if these issues do not affect you, emotional, social or spiritual scars may impact you long past the teen years. The risks of unmarried sex - disease, pregnancy, disappointment, heartache and loss of self-respect - are not worth it. You may already know that if you’re sexually experienced. What you should also know is that each day is new and full of opportunities for different decisions. Don’t think because you’ve made poor choices in the past that you can’t start making better ones today. There is complete pride in being a virgin, but there can also be pride in knowing better and then doing better. Picture your best future. Remember that what you do now will affect you later. And don’t let anyone keep you from achieving your goals. Still think you want to have sex with your boyfriend? Think again!

You are SO young!! People need to be aware of the emotional consequences of premarital sex. The kind of love you feel at 13, is nowhere near the real love you will feel in your 20’s. Mature love means a deeper appreciation of who a person is deep down inside and is more than just kisses and love notes. Dont give your most precious gift to the first horny boy that comes along. 1 month is hardly enough time to really know someone, let alone say you love them. Treasure your youth, and don’t let the love you feel now overwhelm you or distract you from so many things that you get to experience as a 13 yr old.