talking to my mom about her husband please adults advise

my mother hates my dad and so do I and my two older sisters.

we all want him out of the house but my mom keeps on saying he is going to change and she wont get a divorce or make him move out and I we try talking to her about it but she never listen

what can we say…please no kids I need adult advice but I have no adults to talk to about it with

Answer #1

I’m a young adult (23), but I do have a ton of life experience. You were quite vague in your reasons for disliking this man. Is he just mean? Because I think you may have to stick it out if he’s just a jerk- and then leave home and don’t turn back (if that’s what you want). I’ve seen many children try to break up their parents’ marriage- it’ doesn’t work. Mom and dad’s have the right to argue and not get along- they’re adults- it’s their decision. Is it for the best? Probably not- but again, that’s their decision. Your mom and dad loved eachother before they had you- they chose eachother as their partners, and they’re going to be the ones who ultimately make the decision to stay or separate. NOW, if he is PHYSICALLY HURTING you or your siblings, that is another story. If he’s violating your bodies in any way; then you know it’s wrong and you have options. You don’t need your mom’s permission OR approval to go to the police if he’s hurting you. It’s your God-given right as a human being to stick up for yourself. Going to the police WILL be very uncomfortable, and it WILL be hard, but you get results. They will put you and your siblings into protective custody, or force your dad to leave, or arrest him. You won’t have to be with him. You won’t have to face him if you don’t want to. The whole “right to face your accuser” doesn’t apply to children. Your family will be put through the wringer; it’ll be stressful: but if he’s hurting you, you are worth every bit of the agony you’ll go through to be free from his harm. Ok? Does that make sense? If this is just an “Ugh, I hate my dad- he’s such a controlling jerk”- then I think you’re going to have to just suck it up and KNOW that you are the better person. If there is any physical or sexual abuse going on- we have another story and I hope you stand up for yourself so they can fry the bastard.

Answer #2

Okay so here is the thing and I know I am 19 but I am very mature and I’ve been in a committed relationship for awhile and I ahve a daughter so just consider me a married women. I do understand hwo you are feeling and it is tough living with your dad when he is the way he is but you cant really do much to talk your mom into making him leave. You can just tell her that he upsets you and your siblings and you dont like how he is towards her and it hurts her but thats all and dont bring it up that much she doesnt want to be reminded of it…I’m gonna try to explain her side and I hope I dont leave anything out. You gotta remember that she loves him. Even though he is like this now she knows he hasnt always been like this. She still sees the other side of him deep down and sometimes that side might come back up. When you are in love thats it, theres not much turning back. The onyl way you can really leave someone in her condition it would have to be if she didnt love him at all not even the other side of him. She would have to not care for him. She doesnt want to let him go because she still has hope he will change. I am the same way with my fiance. I love him but right now its only part of him I love because he I different but I know that its just a tough time in our life right now and he wont always be like this. We have gotten into a lot of fights but I hold on anyways when other people let go. She just has a lot of faith in him and she believes in herself and that she’ll get through to him. But to sum up what I am trying to say…she loves a part of him still, she has faith in him and herself and believes she can make that small part of him all of him again. She doesnt want to give up on someone she loves and cares about. If she did leave him now shes afraid that down the road if he goes back to his old self she will regret what she did and know its too late to go back. She doesnt want a what if to be there and she is probably scared of not being with him. But your mother is a grown women and its hers and your dads relationship and you just gotta let her work it out…now if he starts to beat her and stuff like that then I would step in but for now just give her time.

Answer #3

im not selfish because of my dad, I had a fear of men that I am still not completly over. because of him my mother is ten time more stressed out then she needs to be and if you want me to make it look like hes cheating on her it will give her more stress. because of him my sister has an eating disorder and has had two times that she had came close to dying. I asked for adults advise because I dont want children that are just as stupid and oblivious as I am or as it seems even more than I.

yeah, I hate him because of how I feel. I feel gross and unwanted and fat and ugly and under stress because I dont know when he will explode at us again and scarred all the time…I know im so selfish. you clearly are not an adult if you are telling a child in need of help to sabotage her father.

Answer #4

Well, here is the thing. If you hate him because of how you feel then your just selfish and I should leave now. If he is bad and is causing extreme emotional pains on the family then there is only one thing to do…sabotage. You need to set him up. I suggest getting lipstick marks ( a kind not found in your home ) on his shirt and add some womanly sperm to his underwear. This will make it seem like he is messing around. Do it when he is out late at night and your mom is asleep to make it seem realistic. Also, ruffle his hair in his sleep to add more effect.

ONLY DO THIS IF HE IS ACTUALLY BAD!!! DO NOT DO IT FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH WANTS AND DESIRES LIKE Preeppylicious13!!! ( It is not like I am saying she is doing it fr a selfish reason but peeppy makes it sound like she is. :{ )

Answer #5

Cutie, why do you dislike him? Is there a personality clash? Is he abusive (physically, mentally, OR sexually)? Is he into drugs / alcohol / prescription drug abuse? Is he giving you a general feeling of creepiness? Most of these require different solutions.

I’ll mark this question for my watch list, or you can FunMail me. I don’t promise to know what to do, but maybe you can find some type of solution that might help.

Answer #6

ok I knoe you said no kids but I went through the same thang with my mom she was married to this guy but he wasnt my real father and I hated him and I tried to tell her and nothing would work either but after awhile she realized why I didnt like him and everythang I told her was true just keep telling her no matter if she doesnt lisen and maybe shed some tears when your telling her , she needs to knoe that your really sencere

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