how do i support my boyfriend?

wow, he is your bf & instead of being in his corner what you are saying here is: “my bf is starting to get on my nerves because he is a failure!” You need to get off your high horse & stand by your man…and what is with this: “my family asks how he does & its embarrassing to say he failed…” that is a violation of trust…why are you telling your family about his personal life…what happened to privacy? If he is that embarrassing to you & your family why in gods name are you still with him?

He’s not going to succeed in everything he does. At least he’s getting out there and trying. Maybe he’s not putting enough effort in what he’s doing. You guys are young… now if he were in his 20’s, I’d be concerned… some kids your age don’t even want to look for jobs. Is he going through something that’s affecting his behavior? There could be something behind it, and maybe he just needs your support. There’s nothing worse than failing at things and not having the person that means the most to you on your side.

okay look i think ive left things out and maybe not explained myself as well as i could of.. me and him have been through alot these past few weeks which has put a big strain on our relationship.i wont go into detail because its an embarrissing and personal topic. But what I was trying to put across was, when he failes at something (which is getting all of the time lately) he gets in a bad mood and upset which is normal, but it kills me when i see him disappointed. I’m finding it really hard to be there for him when i’m going through things aswell. and i dont tell my family, he does. he tells my mother about when his driving tests are, his interview etc.. i want to help him but i dont know how. i hate just saying to him its fine and everytime something comes up and i tell him he’ll do great and good luck, he comes away disappointed:/

no he isnt putting enough effort into what he’s doing. he doesn’t revise, he was planning on not going back to his last year in school to do this big job with british airways and because he didn’t get it he has to stay in school and i know he cant stand it. he might be going through things yeah, and i know that the past few weeks havnt been easy with the exams and we both had a big shock last week over something serious. i want to support him but i dont know how anymore, i hate telling him hes going to do good and everything will be fine when he always comes away dissapointed. what do i say or do?

Time for some tough love, maybe?? It sounds like he doesn’t put any effort into anything (I mean, if he was REALLY trying, and you could see that….would it be as annoying?)…..He’s getting off on your support and YOUR effort to help him….and doing nothing to help himself. Time for him to stand on his own and prove that he can make it on his own….one more failure, and you’re done. It’s not your job to carry him around like a big rock around your neck.

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maybe it’s because he is trying so hard to fit in your family…think about not just being under tremendous pressure just from his family but also have to feel like he is under the same pressure with yours!!!! Please, if you want this relationship to last sweetie, it’s up to you the girl he loves, admires & counts on to be his wall when he gets shot down to stick it in there & say to him, “Dont worry sweetheart, if at first you dont succeed, try try again & again & again and if he must again…til he gets what he needs done! I understand how frustrating it can be…but dont forget he feels like all the doors are closing in on him…and if you let him down as well it’s going to kill him, I guarantee you! When a guy feels like a failure, regardless of if he is one or not..also winds up loosing you because he feels like he isnt good enough…he is going to lose all faith in himself & not ever want to even try again!all he needs is your love, support & encouragement to try again even if he fails again…if you were his wife would you not support him til death to you part? This is how your future is going to look…an you handle it??? If you cant handle being there to support him & calm him down when he gets upset now how will you ever do that if things get more serious between you 2 down the line…that is all I am trying to explain…in a relationship if you are not committed 100% then move on.