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I've always had eating problems, but for the past 2 months or so it got extreme. It was jumpstarted with running approx 6 miles every couple days and not eating much, which made me lose weight. I saw I was loosing, and it snowballed. I more or less stopped running, but I hardly ate at all for a good month and lost about 20 pounds. I stopped getting my period. I'm 5'6, I was 130 and last week was (at my lowest) 106. I was probably 110 two days ago. Everyone was(is) worried about me, so I came to my parents house the other day and decided, what the hell, if everyone wants me to gain a few pounds, then I can treat myself. Long story short, I binged quite a bit and feel like I gained so much! They took my scale away (I compulsively weighed myself) so Im not even sure how much I gained, but if I were to guess I'd say I'm comfortably sitting at 115. Thats (at least) a 5 pounds gain in 2 days. I'm only guessing since I dont have my scale. (which is driving me nuts)
Today though, my dad once again told me how I look like skin and bones, and all I could think was "oh my god if you saw my stomach right now you could not possible say that!"
I feel like everything went straight to my stomach. Before my "binge" my hip bones protruded a lot, and now even when im lying down they are barely noticable. (2 days!!! did I really eat THAT much??) I know a month of not eating isnt comparable to anorexia, but I've been told it is common with "recovering anorexics" that weight gain goes straight to the stomach. Is this true?
I feel huge, and like I've noticably gained so much, but I still fit in my size 3 jeans, so Im so confused on what is happening. (during my weight loss, I was only just starting to be able to wear a 3 but still mostly just wore 5s, and when I went to the store today, the 3s all fit perfect.) this is confusing because I can physically tell my stomach has gained weight, but why do these pants still fit??
I went for a run today, and am going to for the next few days until I am able to start my cardio boxing classes on wednesday. I'm hoping this will help.
My question is really.. is this all in my head? And if I really am 115 lbs why am I seeing myself as so fat!
I am no psychologist so please don't quote me but I work with girls that have a body image disorder, not that you do, but over obssessing about it could make it that way. I think society, by all these thin stars, videos and magazines get in some of our heads and make us think that's how we should be, but they have personal trainers and plastic surgery and oh yeah money to be that way. I f you feel healthy, then you are, being obsessed will lead to making you unhealthy and do things that could be potentially dreadful, so stay fit, but don't go overboard.
" I can physically tell my stomach has gained weight, but why do these pants still fit?" because your perception is not matching reality, (I.e. it is all in your head) and seriously, protruding hip bones are not a good thing
I cant diagnose you but my guess would be body dysmorphic disorder... comorbid with some sort of eating disorder...
you really should see someone about it, you're eating habits are obviously unhealthy, and you could end up down a seriously dangerous path... it is best to stop this as soon as possible...
Please stop what your doing you could develope non-purgatory bulimia I suffered with the purgatory type for 3 years and am still trying get over 2 years later and still think about it all the time when I eat. You could really do some damage do it the healthy way of moderate exercise and a calorie controlled diet at a healthy weight loss of 2 lbs a week
try some water flakes(mash potatoes) you'll never have to worry about not eating because once you eat them you'll never go back to that no eating crap, try it..
Hope this helps: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eatingdisorderself_help.htm
Take care !!
