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What can you do in a situation like this?

My foster mom has a 4 year old grandson, he lives some days with her and some days with his other grandperents, he can’t live with his perents because they constantly fight and they are involved in drugs and stuff like that. The last time Rylan ( the 4 year old) live with his perents was about 2 years ago, and what happened was that my foster mom had to go get him because at the perents house there was a party and there was drinking and drug use going on, and it was almost 10 and Rylans mom was giving him a bath while she was drunk, so the police was called and smy foster mom went and got him and she does not want to allow Rylans perents to have him back. And recently Rylans dad came over to the house with the cops because “ he wanted him back” while he knows clearly that Rylan is not safe around him, he keeps messing up, wont take theraphy or nothing so h can have Rylan back but yet he wants him back. The mom can’t have him eaither because all she likes to do is party and leave Rylan who knows where, and both of them are willing to do NOTHING to get him back. My foster mom made treatment plans so they could follow in order to get them back, she did this based on what social services does for perents to get their kids back, and still nothing was followed, she was ignored, and just more problems came along. Rylan started school but know he is changing schools because his other grandma does not want him going where my foster mom has him go to, only because she does not want to drive and spend the time to acchually do something for Rylan, and Rylan has a big trouble getting used to new things, he had a lot of trouble going to his new school and it was a huge pain, and when he starts to like school they change him. So, My foster perents want to get costody of Rylan but I think she called CPS and they told here there was nothing they could do. I don’t get why but that is what she got told. I’ve only been 6 months at this house, but I have grown very close to Rylan, and you can see that what he’s going trough is not a happy moment for him either. All I want to do is to help my foster mom and see what can be done so she has costody of rylan and so he wont have to go trough this anymore, the house changes over and over the perents fighting and all that crap that a 4 year old should not be going trough. Can anathing be done? Trough social services or something that can be done trough law or something? Thanks for the help you can give.

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Answer #1

I don’t know if there’s anything you can do through the law, but I really think that it’s time to sit down with both grandmothers, and maybe Rylan too. I’d say just the grandmothers at first. You need to talk to them, calmly, about why it’s a bad idea to move the boy to a new school, and why it’s important not to change more in his life and cause more damage when he already has gone through so much. This much change could have a lot of effect on his later life, it probably already has put quite a dent in him. It’s important to surround him with comfort and familiarity, not to push him into another uncertain situation, a different school. Try getting the other grandmother to let your foster mother have him for most of the time: that way she wouldn’t have to do any of the work, he could stay at his school, but she could still see him whenever she wanted to. In any case, changing homes every weeks is too much for a kid that age. Just as you get used to one place, you’re torn away to the other? Not good. Try to figure out a weekend plan with the other grandmother, to work around Rylan’s school schedule.

Answer #2

Sorry to hear. Ask Rylan to write down what he feels about his biological parents, or video tape him discussing how he feels or something..just to have as evidence just in case your foster mom needs to present it at a court of law.

I agree with Nochinysvet though(post above mine).. best to have all parties sit down and discuss so they really know hos Rylan feels. I feel sorry for him, if his parents are as messed up as they sound.. then unfortunately the probably don’t even care how he feels and want him back for whatever reason. I hope your foster mom gets custody souds like his fams are real douche bags!

Good luck!

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