I Have an annoying, heartless sister who is 2 years younger then me. We have grown up very diff., Me and my Dad and Her and my Mom. My sister has had everything given to her, her whole life. She barely works, and when she does she nly lasts a week or so. She gets everything from the gov't and yet is to lazy to clean her own house. She has 2 children 4 and 6 months, and she barley takes care of them. I have had to take care of the eldest for a year because my sister was a pill addict and had to get help. Well now here we are again, all her money goes to pills, and she is a very heartless woman. I have been her doormat for years, and im tired of it. Im almost 30 and still dealing with her. Just recently she asked me to move in with her me and my husband, to help her out with bills, because she could not afford them. I have worked since I was 14 years old, and never asked for anything, and it sucks because she gets everything. Well she said she was moving out, to be with a friend, where she didnt have to pay rent. Okay with me, but I found out that for the past 2 months she did not pay all the rent, and the apartment is in her name. I have talked to the landlord and they are willing to put the lease in my name. She would rather put me in misery while she is happy go lucky. After giving her almost 300 in the last month, her excuse is she lost it. And I had to cover the full amount of bills, and to find out that the money I gave her never went for rent. On Monday night my sister and my husband got into an argument, which he was defending me, she got mad and did something I could never imagine. She called my husbands parole officer and not only told him the new address but told him there were drugs in the house. We dont do drugs, so they obvioulsy didnnt find anything. but thanks to my sister my husband will now have to go back to jail, and I will be by myself, and my sister laughs.. I dont know what to do, im tired of her calling my friends for pills everyday, and im tired of being nice to her so she wont tell a lie and try to ruin my life, but now she has done it. and im lost and very hurt. I dont want her to run my life, tell me what to do anymore. She is a wicked person and a conieving woman. Not to mention, she has everything wrong with her..hmmm she never had any problems ever, but sure she makes the dr's belive so so she can get pills. IM DONE!!! Please help
I have to agree with mikeh. You say you can't do it anymore but you obviously can since you still are. But I also think when you say that you won't walk out on her because you feel sorry for the kids is CRAP!!! You won't walk out on her because you know that you would feel bad because she is your only sister. You may not realize this but most of this is you just being selfish. Idon't mean to be mean but you know that this is your only way to vent yourself in a need for your feeling of being right. You know that what your sister is doing wrong so you used it as a way to mae others feel sorry for you about the way you have to live,but that's just it...YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!! You claimed that you feel sorry for the kids but really if someone reads between the lines enough they'll see,just as I did,that this is simply the only way you feel you have to waller in self pity and make other people feel sorry for you. You said it your self,you're 30,you have the power to do something but you don't! Wake up! You have the power to do something but you ignore it. I'm not saying you enjoy it but while you are doing nothing about it this is just a bonus. If you hate it so much there are different ways to help her like move out and refuse to pay all the rent. Maybe start off with a small amount then slowly rasie it higher until she starts relizing she can take her life back into control. And since you feel bad enough about living with her you'll obviosly do everything you can to help her. But also while she is learning how to grow up...SO SHOULD YOU!!! You are old enough to be able to be a real adult. She ca't do it on her own,you have to learn to help her and yourself. I am not taking up for her but there is no way Ican fairly take up for you either. GROW UP AND LEARN TO SAY A SHORT BUT PWERFUL WORD CALLED NO!!!
For starters, you can stop lying to us.
"I dont want her to run my life" -- this is a lie, since you just gave a full-page example citing all the ways you want her to run your life.
"im tired of her calling my friends for pills everyday" -- You can't be that tired of it or you would not be allowing it to happen.
This is a lot like the person who lives in New York and loudly proclaims to anyone who will listen, "I can't STAND all this traffic!" Well, of course she can. If she couldn't stand it, she would have moved. It's not like there are no other places to live. She's made an economic evaluation of her life -- is the cost of moving greater than the cost of the traffic? So far, yes, because she is still in New York.
You have obviously not reached the point where you believe the things that you say or these things would no longer be happening. What I suspect is going on here is that you do not have a proper outlet through which to vent your frustrations, and so you posted this rant about your sister's wrongdoings. Once you really, truly can't live with this behavior anymore, you'll learn a simple little word called "no."
Thank you for your answers , and to Mikeh, in some aspects you are right. I have allowed it to happen way to long, not because I like it but because, I felt bad for my niece's and they dont deserve to suffer. Also because she is my only sister and, yes I have felt a need to help her because she was younger, but after reading what you wrote, I realized that, I have enable my situation to control my thoughts, and yes I do have a venting hole, but I thought maybe reaching out to some outsiders, may give me advice and look diff. on this point. Thank you for your feedback. And to moonstar, I have thought about CPS, but It is not the kid's fault and for them to be with anyone else but our family is heart wrenching, but like my husband says, it might be for the best, since all she does is spend her money in ways not including them. 2 wrongs dont make a right though do they?
wooow thast longg...
well after I read advice ~ what I would do
you got a life !!! is yours and no body got any right to disturb it excluding your mother and father.
Your sister at 28 is so childish... she must understand the meaning of the life and you must not help her well I wouldnt as she s not even taking the life seriously.
I don't know what to say ,,, its way too complicated !
move on leave that place for a while even tho you will suffer but I must understand that you got your own life she has her life...
different ways ...
kick her to the curb !!! I would have to say talk to her and tell her you can not help her because she does not help you back. Or call child protection services and tell them how bad of an un fit mother she is and try and get the children if you can. If they did a drug test the would find pills in her and she can't pay her bills. If she can make phone calls so can you !!! It might take time stuff will happen but just quit talking to her or doing anything for her and it will all stop sooner or later.
well thats why I said you get the kids if you can keep them. because they could go to you or your parents before they would put them in a home. If you fight for them they can stay in the family but they don't need to be with the mother...
Just tell her 2 get the he double hockey sticks out and leave you guys alone!!