Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Parents & Family Questions

Should I move out?

my dad has been drinking a lot lately .. he gets drunk about every night . when he gets drunk he hits me and my brothers … and throws plates at the 3 of us … he has kicked me out before when he was drunk but soon asked me to move back in … I have been back for about a week now … but last night he was breaking my stuff and hitting me … his drinking is going to kill him. what should I say or should I just move out

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

That’s very good of you although I am worried that you shouldn’t be harmed in all this. Your mother did a bad thing towards him and yes it probably did hurt him, broke his heart. But he needs to learn to move on. He needs to get counselling. And maybe some closure from your mum. They need to talk, if they can.

He needs to realise who he loves more - his children who he is lucky enough to have or his ex wife who cheated on him, which shows she can’t have loved him much. You love him a lot, that is why you are asking for help and that is great.

Here’s an idea. Why don’t you stay home with your dad, get rid of all the alcohol in the house or just hide it in your room so he stays sober for an hour or so. Sit down with him, tell him to stop looking because he will get it back when you have finished talking to him. Make him a cup of coffee/tea and yourself one. Sit down and talk about life. School, work, friends, lovelife. He needs to listen to you and needs to be a part of your life. Tell him you want to spend more time with him while he is sober because you love him and so do your brothers. He needs to know you love him. It won’t cure him completely of alcoholism but it might do something.

When you have finished your private chat say to him, “I’m going to let you have a beer/glass of wine etc because I love you but I do wish you’d stop driving me away and killing yourself. One day I’m not going to be here to back you up because of your drinking.”

Good luck

Answer #2

You need to raise awareness to other family members, close friends or even a help service. Ask your doctor for help, He/she will be able to give you professional advice. Your father is using domestic violence under the influence of alcohol. If you involve the police, he will be shocked into reality.

It is your choice how you do things, no one can tell you what to do because only you know how far your father will take things.

But you need to tell someone who CAN help you there and then. Don’t think about moving out just yet, think of your brothers aswell. In a way I think your dad does care for you but something has triggered his drinking and his anger comes out, unfortunately you are the ones that are the victims of it.

Answer #3

“smexii” got it right, my father is a recovering alchoholic, its been a long bumpy road, it got to the point where he hit my little brother so bad he ended up in the hospital, after I called the cops on him. the situation is much too big for you to take on yourself, alcoholics dont listen anyway. talk to him, (when hes sober) and tell him that hes going to drive you and his other kids away, ask him if he thinks drinking is worth more than his relationship with his kids. moving out always looks good when things are bad at home. but you might want to try getting help for your brothers as well, you cant just leave them there in that situation.

before I completly miss my point, the best thing would be to get some sort of professional help, anger management could definitly be a big help.

Answer #4

I think you should move out don’t call the police because then they’ll put you and your sisters or brothers in DSS and I no you don’t want that so talk wit a family member or some one you no who can help you like a grown up

Answer #5

It sounds like maybe you, your mom and your dad could use some “family” counseling. You might check with your local child-welfare organization to see if such a service is available.

Answer #6

The best way is for you to tell someone that is a close frand of urs.. so mab they will help you!! And you can find somewhere to go by their help!! To a new safe location!!!

Answer #7

I know why he drinks … he misses my mom he caught her cheating on him and has been like this ever since … I dont want him to go to jail I am more worried about my brothers and my dad than I am my self

More Like This
Advisor

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Under Adria's Wings

Child Support Services, Youth Development Programs, Grief Counseling