Home More advice General Knowledge
If someone gets raped at a very young age will that affect their future?
Like most things in life it will be what you make of it. I spent years questioning. I wanted to know what I had done to make it happen. What did I do to make him keep going. What could I do to understand. What could I do to figure out why it was so important to figure it all out, and on, and on. Ultimately I realized I was actually looking for some way to gain control by asking all these questions about my own actions, where I was, how I looked, how I dressed, how I walked, how I spoke, what I did, etc. That all took awhile but finally revealed itself to be futile. What I never did, for whatever the reason (maybe I was too busy asking questions) anyway, what I never did was blame anyone, which I’m really glad for. That would have really been a waste of time. But what I also didn’t do, which also turned out to be a waste of time, was to question what I didn’t do. That finally occurred to me one day at which point I came to realize the way out of this nightmare was by assuming responsibility. That might sound weird but here’s how it played out, at least for me.
First of all you should know I’m a guy, this happened to me when I was 13. I was walking on the sidewalk in the middle of the day when this man walked up and started talking to me. He put his arm around my shoulders and “herded” me all the way to the back of a long alleyway, far away from the street. The whole time I was so scared I was in a total panic. I didn’t run, or fight, I just did what he said. What that really means is, I failed to follow my instincts when he first approached me and I failed to put up my first line of defense by running, yelling, or even telling him no. I totally submitted and allowed my fear to assume control. In a way that may have also been some basic instinct at work because while it was happening to me it was like I was two separate people. There was my body that was having this thing done to it, but there was also my mind, that was like separated from the physical me, as if my mind was temporarily in somebody else’s body, somebody who wasn’t having anything bad happening to them. So the experience itself was kind of strange, but everything up to that point, while my mind was still connected to my body, that whole part of things was my responsibility. It was up to me to follow my instincts, to protect myself, at least to the degree of offering some amount of resistance. That’s what I could have done differently. Having realized that, only then could I assume responsibility for the outcome. Once I actually felt that sense of responsibility I was able to assume an equal level of authority. Think of it this way, responsibility without authority, is as useless as authority without responsibility. It’s pointless to have one without the other, but once you have both, then you’re in charge. Consequently, what happened to me in that alleyway, will never happen that way to me again, and that’s the thing I really needed to know, that’s what I was looking for. What happened to me that day is over, done, it’s in the past, history. The fear I carried with me afterward was the thought of it happening again. Once I knew that’s not possible I was able to get on with my life. I suppose if I had been struck by lightening I’d have gone though the same kind of thought process, and I suppose I’d ultimately arrive at the same conclusion. It did happen, but it won’t happen again.
Yes, it has affected me. I was raped when I was thirteen by my biological father, who I adored for most of my childhood.I have spent most of my life trying to figure out why theses kinds of things happen, and yet to this day, I do not know. I do not believe there is an answer to this question. I am truely living life now, after many years of just surviving. For so long, I have just tried to live from day to day and survive. This is no longer my daily life, I make it through everyday with a smile on my face. My father now resides in prison and will for the rest of his life. I am no longer surviving; I am a SURVIVOR! I have came along way in life, trust me. I am now twenty years old and I have overcome many obstacles. It is enough justice for me to know that every move he makes is being watched by someone. Every time he uses the restroom, takes a shower, is naked or getting dressed, and while he is awake or sleeping. His privacy is being invaded, just as I was invaded. Yes, it does affect you, but look at the bright side it also makes you. You are a much stronger person, and if you can make it through that, you can make it through anything. There is more than anger, more than sadness, there is hope!
I have a good friend who was raped by her grandfather. She seems perfectly fine to me know, although maybe it is because she has other things to worry about. I think it was when she was 5? 6? She is thirteen going on fourteen now. I will say that it will affect you for a while.(or anyone else) It will take a while for you to trust a man, or anyone in general. You may be jumpy for a bit, feel like it is your fault, but it is not. It is not your fault that some jerk did that to you. (If it is you we are talking about. Sometimes it is hard to tell if you are just asking for opinions, or about you personally.) Eventually you(or said person) will get over it. It all depends on the ability to cope. Be optimistic, and don't dwell on it. Don't focus on how it might have ruined your(or said person's) life, because only YOU can do that. Only you can make yourself sad, or ruin your life. If you don't let it ruin your life, then it won't. It is easier said than done, I know. You are in control of yourself!(or said person.)
I was raped when I was 10 now im 21. it effected my life quite a lot as I was moved out of home and put in to goverment care which I guess was safer for me than to live at home. I suffered really bad I tried killing myself heaps of times by trying 2 od slashing my arms etc though guess it wasnt my time to go, and I can sit back today and say im glad I never left cause what happened to be has made me a stronger woman due to everything I had to experience when it was happening such as me breaking down and things I had to deal with while to goverment care. I do look back and wonder if it didnt happen were I would I be now, though im happy with my life now at times I may get upset thinking about it though I can mangage thinking about it without wanted to hurt myself. its just a matter I guess of trying to deal with it it isnt easy. no one can help you unless you want to be helped as I realised.
It stays with you. You can smile. You can lead a "normal" life, but it stays with you. In little ways- like not wanting to wear shirts that show any cleavage, or by wearing baggy clothes to conceal your figure. And you can date eventually, but you've got that "what if" in the back of your mind- you're always on guard- always. And it manifests itself in bigger ways- personally, I was so desperate for control over my life again that I deveolped anorexia because I COULD control what I put into my body- even when I couldn't control what was DONE to my body. It's hard getting intimate with men- even when I was with my husband. I don't "date" because that's putting myself into a risky situation. I have a HAPPY life and I am a content person with a lot of love around me. But there it is- always in the back of my mind. It'll stay; but that doesn't mean you have to stop living.
rape is never anyones fault unless they actually ask for it if you were raped, that doesnt make YOU a slut that makes the person who did it a disgusting sick person do tell your parents, even know hes dead now and he cant be punished you cant go on in life if you just try to put it all behind you and forget about it because its always going to be there so its best to talk about hwhat happened to people you love and trust getting it off your chest can be a big help and remember, its not your fault for what happened to you its his a slut is a girl who sleeps with many men, just for the hell of it if you were raped, you were raped, theres no other word for it
"I wanted 2 tell people but they might look at me like am a SLUT."
It would never, ever come back to you like that - you were a victim and not in control of the situation. You have nothing to feel ashamed about. You did nothing wrong.
It all depends on the person and their ability to cope.
I was raped by my father's friend when I was 5, and it did mess me up for a little while, but I learned how to deal with it and it doesn't affect me anymore.
when I was like 2-3 I was raped by my great uncle(he died) I never really told anyone and it so hard that no one knows. but me I wanted 2 tell people but they might look at me like am a SLUT.
life experiences, good or bad, will effect you for the rest of your life. whether that effect is positive or negative is up to you.
More than likely - It's tough being a rape victim but if they talk to a counselor about it, it might help a bit.
well yeeah... if your forced to have sex with someone, its gana effect them forever probably...
wow omg you got raped by your great uncle? must b sum bro 2 your mom/dad's mom/dad!!! OGL!
it will affect their lives :(
thanxx ichibanarky
can do :[
iT MAY
