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What is life, I ask you all? Is it as a climb or is it a fall? The hourglass is continuously turning as we search for the answer on this long journey. . We question yet we do not see. How life is made up from the simplest of things. It is the hopes, the dreams and goals that strive us to achieve .The tries, the fails and the misconceptions that teach us what we need to see. The smiles, the laughs, the love which set our souls free.The changes, the phases and the struggles which give us wings, freedom to soar the air. The promises and the pride; that make us believe. It is the truth and it is the lies that enlighten us to endeavor what is worth. It is the silence , the voices and the echoes, the sounds of the earth. The shredded tears, fake disguises and the words left unspoken. It is the journey in which everyday unravels on. It will have it's steeps , it's mountains and it's hills. But the view will always be worthwhile. When finally the sand fills the bottom and it's all too late. Impossible to rewind, and change our fate. We will then seek how much each little stone meant , and wish we had made better use of the rubble that had went. I am life , you are life , we are life. Yet we still question, what really is life?
I personally think it is well written. I also write a bit...
I simply had to read it a few times...Absolutely brilliant my dear! Has a lot of meaning behind the words. Its truly a work of art...very detailed & self explanatory!
Pretty much explains all aspects of life...the beginning, the middle & the very bitter end!
Things we question with no real answers, a leap of faith if you will with so much to look forward to...perhaps even a wake up call!
1 piece of advice...Dont stop writing!! :) Gather all the poems you write & when you have over 20 then get them published.
It never does comes easy! :) (I think that is what bon jovi once wrote in one of his songs called "in these arms" when he states "You know I need you..like a poet needs the pain!" we all need something to motivate us. Sometimes it will take hours where other times 15 mins...all depends on the situation, and if the words are flowing or not... writing isnt easy, but should come out of your heart & out of ur mind!
Hope that helps!
I'm assuming because of your question that you want actual concrit? I do love it. You have managed to evoke beautiful imagery, while still conveying your thoughts. You need to work on the format, however. It will flow more easily, with pauses in the proper places and other areas highlighted. Now it is all jumbled together. I think you have a lot of promise. Please take this as encouragement, because you are talented.
Thank you evaoswald. I never really thought of it since I don't really write. This one was for school work and a lot of people told me it was pretty good. I didnt know what to think of it. Thanks for your advice though, I will keep it in mind :) Thanks again Mesara, :)
nooo way. lol i cant see myself getting it published. i trully suck at rhyming myself but i love poetry ! i think i should write more, but it doesnt come easy only when im in a certain mood. Thanks a million :)
Oh my gosh, I love it! It has such great meaning, I want to read it over and over again =) I dont know what else to say execpt that I absolutely love it :)(:
yes this is what i was trying to say..lol..yes like he said..you do have talent..just work on that format..and it'll be like perfect poetry..=D
i love it!!!! you should write more poems! but i was never good eith writing ryyming poems. but yu should get it published. :))))))))))P
hmm, not too much of a bad idea. I shall see how I go. Thanks for the confidence boost. Many thanks for your advice and comment :)
I like it..some parts were a little wordy(ish)..but it was really really good..very nice job!!
Really? Thanks so much! It was my first poem and this is my very first compliment on it :)
Your welcome..really? well i would have never known it to be your first..
You're welcome! I'm happy if I could be of any help!
Very true! Thanks for the advice, it did help :)
This is amazing, great job!!!! 2 thumbs up :D
This is a very good poem. ur a gr8t writer
Thanks Mesara :) It was my first poem. :)
well deserved for a job well done! :)
=] Much appreciated.
Thanks so much! =)
glad we could! :P
its a good poem.