Do we ever have any chances of being together?

“Okay here’s what happened. I’ve known Tyler for two years and he’s known all along that I love him. Over the years I’ve asked him out several times and he says I don’t know. Things have gotten better this past year but just recently I moved to another state and a week before I moved we were alone and he kept staring into my eyes for 10 to 15 minutes at a time and when I asked him what he was doing he just said that he was thinking. (He already knew by then that I was moving) We could of had sex but he never pushed the subject nor did he try and remove my clothes without my consent (he knows I’d never tell on him so he knew he wouldn’t get in trouble) and then on the last day I was there I ran into him as he was leaving work. He gave me a lift home and said that he had to go home and sleep cause he had to go back to work in a few hours and I kept asking him to stay a little longer. I was trying not to cry and he kept telling me not to. I asked him, “Tyler, be trait up with me. Do you love me?’ and he said, “Yeah, I did. But then I found out that you were moving, so I kind of squashed that.” Then he told me to find someone better. I asked him if he was saying that cause he thought he was crap and he said no, I just needed to find somebody who loved me as me I loved them. then he kept telling me that I should go have a good life and I asked him if he loved me all along why didn’t he ever ask me out? He said he didn’t know, he’s not good with emotional stuff (I knew that cause his mom just barely stopped beating him a few months ago) he was tearing the whole time and I asked him why and he lied (it was obvious) and said his finger was hurt and his side was too. Then I started to cry and he said that I couldn’t do that and cheered me up by making jokes. He left I said see ya later and moved a few hours later. then a week after I left, my best friend went up to him and I quote, “hey so why did you go and hurt tori the way you did dumbass?” and he said,”hey, no need to rub it in I feel bad enough already and I should of said something sooner (about loving me) I know.” so my question is how did he feel about me, why didn’t he ask me out and when I go back in a year after I graduate will there still be a chance between us? I love him very much. I’m in love with him. we’ve argued, but we always forgave each other. always. he would always confide in me and I would in him and he’s not good with emotional stuff but he would always show me how he cared by the way he held me or touched me and would always act really silly whenever he noticed I was sad. “

Answer #1

First thing is very scary to me. You said the he did not try to remove your clothes without your consent, even though he knew that you would never “tell on him” if he did? WHAT? You’re saying that this guy could rape you and you “love” him so much that you wouldn’t say anything?

Whoa.

I think you need some serious therapy (I’m not being sarcastic when I say that) here, girl. You are that desperate for attention that you’re basically asking to be raped? That just blows me away that you would say this.

Second, when a guy is “in love” with a girl/woman, nothing stops him. Not his fear of emotions, not anything. He knew you were leaving, and young guys are notorious for avoiding saying things that will cause drama or hurt with a girl they are not that into. He wants you to move on, it’s over. He knew it would make you feel better to hear that he had strong feelings for you. Even if at some point he did, he never acted on them. And that makes all the difference in the world. It really does.

I’d put him way in the back of your mind and seriously consider your own growth and thinking patterns. You are exhibiting some seriously codependent tendencies–and you’re obsessive about this guy. Some of that is because of your age, but you said some scary things in your post. You sound like the type of woman who would easily, easily hook up with an abusive guy.

You’ve moved. Any minute now, you could meet a new guy who will make you forget all about this other guy. So just move on.

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