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Like how do they hear about it but not us?
Some reality shows do go to specific cities for casting calls, but many have open tryouts. Google the name of the show to find the official site. Most shows will have details for how contestents can apply. Some shows want videos, some just want you to fill out a questionarre and send a photo. Remember, the more interesting you are, the better chance you will have to be on the show.
Usually websites have a casting page. They advertise on different websites & well its common sense that when a season ends, like the Real World, once the season is over they need another set of cast members.