Past?

What if I cant let go of the past with me and my boyfriend We have been together for 10 going on 11 months now.

And I just cant seem to let go of the things he done to me before I find myself wondering why im even giving him the chance now.

He hurt me so much before. Breaking up with me every other week. Going back to the girl he said he was in love with. When he knew how much I loved him. He would tell me to my face to give up he didn’t want me. And when I tried he would text me or something to talk to me again. And then get back with me, talk to him ex still and break up with me again. Tell me that I wasn’t open enough, that I wasn’t his type, that my boobs weren’t big enough. That it scared him how much I cared about him, and the best one yet it wasn’t me , it was him.

Basically anything to make me feel horrible and insecure about myself.

And still to this day I feel like im not good enough for him that, my body, my looks aren’t what he wants he though he says they are, but I posted before because I constantly catch him looking at other girls, and when I say something to him about it he says “even though I look at other girls I would never leave you for someone else or cheat on you, your what I want” and it just makes me feel shitty because of our past together.

For 6 straight years, and he never cared. He admits he didn’t, and just randomly he gave me this chance and it worked.