my poem

how do you like this poem I wrote? please the truth even if it’s bad.

Why doesn’t he notice why don’t he care I love him for so much more than his hair his smile his eyes he’s absolutly perfect for my life he’s sweet he’s charming oh how I would love to call him my darling it wouldn’t take much I don’t ask for a lot not diamonds or the world really all I want is to be his baby girl maybe if he knew how I truely felt his feelings would change and make my heart melt how cute we would be together everybody would smile of course some would be jealous but I think it would be worth while he’s amazing nothing left to say maybe if I keep dreaming, he’ll be mine one day.

Answer #1

niicee ! :D I enjoyed it :D anymore ? lol :D I got a few songs written out if ya want to look ?

Answer #2

I agree with the whole hair thing! But if you took that part out it would be better! I still really like it! It’s very sweet! I know how you feel!

Answer #3

its okay, just take out the hair bit, or do something different there, it gets better towrads the end, but you somehow need to make it exciting from the beginning, but your true feelings are in it so I wish you all the best & I hope he does notice you & change his ways for you, all the best x

Answer #4

Awww blesss… thatss sooo sweettt…proud of yu…no frettinnn…my goshhh… im such a postion werr I lykk diss guy foorrr 5 yrrzzz…n heee lykddd me inda beginin…buhhh nowww weee meet wunce in the… and even then itss public and we meet and sai hi . how yu doin…n dem stuff… buh styll sweet…xxx

Answer #5

I know that hair part doesnt seem important but it is because a lot of people tell him they love his hair and I need him to know I like for more than that

Answer #6

Aww… that’s cute!!! I don’t get the hair part though… Might want to take that out!

♥ and Peace! :)

Answer #7

I really like it. =)

Answer #8

it’s sooo sweet, maybe it could use a little more figurative lanuage but anywayz it really good:)

well done!

Answer #9

AWW! that’s sooo sweet! I know exactly how you feel. I love this poem, it’s my new favorite here on FunAdvice. omg, seriously, AWE-SOME!

Answer #10

he’s finally mine now (:

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