Home More advice Parents & Family
my mum drinks all the time when she wakes up she starts drinkin she says she doesnt have a problem but I know she does. my dad drinks aswell but he is not as bad as my mum but they both get really violent and all I hear is arguements, I just did my gcses and all they did was argue I felt like I have failed. I hate being in my house and I am embrassed 2 bring people around. My mum can drink 2 bottles a day of wine she always sounds like she is pissed I hate it :( she is hurtin the whole family I cant stand looking at both of them but I have no where 2 go. my mum went 2 the doctors and they told her 2 give up and she aint she cant do without booze. she lies so much I dont believe a word she said :( my dad isnt that bad but I want them 2 stop but they cant. I feel like I cant do anythin 2 help I cant stand looking at them they make me sick. when they go away they my mum rings me up cryin and it hurts me so much :(
you know what, this is beyond words but I know what you mean. my mom is totally psycho and she's got a personality disorder, so when she drinks she loses it. like one miute she'll be hugging me and the next throwing dishes at my head like it's f*cking target practice. On my last birthday she attacked me and drove my head into a concrete wall in our garage...
There are places in the US like The Sanctruary, where they take you in and help you in situations like that, there are shelters too, and nothing your parents do can make them take you home if you don't want to go, I'm sure there are places like that there as well.
I know you're old enough and will be 18 soon, but that's in more than a year and the situation you describe makes me fear that it will escallate where they might take it out on you. physically. it's not uncommon, at all.
Sometimes when my parents gang up on me they make me feel like killing myself, really. I mean the relationship between me and my parents is so incredibly dysfuntional it's not even funny. I won't do it, I know better now... but it just hurts so much, like my heart physically hurts because it feels like a big empty hole. I always forgive them and they'll act more or less okay for a couple of days before setting off again, and I can't help myself. I hate them but I know I'm better than them and in the end they will get what they deserve. I just really wish that you would tell someone, a friend maybe. I know you're embarassed, trust me I do...but you could probably find a friend to stay with if it get's really bad. I mean this is just not acceptable because it reflects on you so much, I'm very sorry. Please try to find a way out of there.
and yeah, my boyfriends mother is a very bad drunk too, she will drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels or Bacardi and start attacking us with butcher knives and baseball bats. she tried to hit me with an Iron once, you know,t he one you press clothes with...but my boyfreind got in the way before she hit me. she almost took his eye out and I could see his bone through the cut. She also slashed his arm with a bread knife and he has a 15 inch long scar on his arm...she did it because he was talking on the phone with me! and I heard it happen..she LAUGHED this horrible laugh after she did it.
Please, even if you can't leave now, search for a BACK UP plan, just in case things get real bad.
mail me if you need advice or someone to talk to :)
ok, this is a horrible burden for you to have.
your mum CLEARLY does have a problem, whether she wants to admit it or not...
I realise that you can see what's going on and how they are destroying themselves and everyone around them, but you have to understand, they don't want to see this destruction becuase they would have to change their lives for it to change.
have they always drunk? what about work?
alcohol is HIGHLY addictive and becuase it is 'socially acceptable' it makes it very easy to A) get hold of and B) use...
have you not got a family member you could go and live with?
you are unlikely to be able to change your mums behaviour, even though you have spoken to her, she seems to selfish to want to stop (and don't get uppety anyone whose reading this, the parents are choosing their own pleasure over their families happiness) the problem is, at this stage your mum and dad have alcohol as, as much as a part of their lives as food...and they can't live 'normally' because they probably either don't find 'life' as interesting without it, or are 'physically dependent on it'...
I've said this before, but watch a film with your mum where someone has a drink problem, either pay it forward or when a man loves a women... let her SEE how drink does affect the families in the film and just say to her thats how you feel...
there's little more you can do at the moment, speak to AA they have a great support network for families and try and focus your life away from your family when they're drinking, I know this isn't fair...but you can't be expected to live in an environment when your paretns are like this, but they still reject change...
fun mail me if you would like to chat more...I have a lot to say on this issue, only because of personal experiance... x x :)
I had that expierience with my mom and dad, though my dad wasn't showing any signs of alchohaulism at all... she was sneaky and blaimed it all on dad and as she always asked me late in the night to ask me to do more chores, and I refused she would tackle me and say 'I got 300 lbs. on you... now, are you going to do your chores?' and if I said 'no, It's 9:00pm, I have school tomarrow and possibbly a p-" always in mid sentence, wring me up against the wall, It hurt and stuff but I've grown used to it...all I could do was get myself a blck eye and blame it on mom, but twisted my words around on purpose to make dad look bad... so I'm now at 14 stuck with mom, I my-self am becoming more, and more violent by just being around her I often find myself sleeping over at my understanding girlfriend. I found it pointless to talk to my mom because she blaimed all her violence for me not getting my chores done, although I did my chores,so... next time I go to my dad's I'm ganna work it out with him to stay there. I also find myself kicking my dog until she's going to snap at me, that's when I snap out of it... I have now serious issues with her and myself. I also find myself screaming a lot. try to get out of that situation, sleep at your friendds house and explain the situation, I'm sure they'll understand, make sure that they dont threaten to call the cops other-wise your parents may get violent with outside people and your friends and not let you go outside. that's what happend to me before I purposely got my parrents devorced, my dad understood, however, my mom didn't. I agree with sooitca's ideas. and funmail me to talk more if your parents sound like mine and my ideas seem to work
my situation is very similiar. except I have two brothers who are younger than me and would still be here if I left. I am so afraid the older of the two brothers is going to turn out exactly like my dad. alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. I cant stand it anymore. its gone on for as long as I can remember. people are right. it also makes the kids angry and violent. I just want to punch something and scream. but I've never really been that way. its to stressful and I want out. but that would mean losing a lot. my phone, my car, future college, my europe trip, health insurance, and everything else. but I almost feel as if all that stuff is not worth watching them do this. it is VERY embarassing. I barely have any friends. and I understand that drinking can be fun. but not if its excessive. that just ruins your life. just know that there are other people out there with the same situation. and hope for the best. because that seems like thats all we really have.
Hello there
sorry to hear about your story just want to let you know your not alone in this thers lots of other people going true this.I know how you feel because I have been there with my father he did not just drink but hit me and my mother but lucky for me thats after now im 16 now and moved out of the house to holland studing IT whoo hooo maybe you can do the same there is always a way out and keep in mind god helps all
and if you need somone to talk to email me any time no.use.for.a.name223@hotmail.com
When you're that addicted, you have to be put on medicine to stop. I know because my dad is an alcoholic too but e's not violent or anything. But he has to take medicine that makes him get REALLY sick if he drinks. So if he takes his medicine he's fine. My mom sometimes watches him take it to make sure he does. It sounds kind of juvenile but my dad's a doctor so she has to make sure he isn't drunk. And being there for them is all you can really do.
That's sad. when school starts you need to talk to your counselor and see if you can get help from anyone. Always know that there is always hope even in those horribe situations.
*but SHE twisted my words around on purpose to make dad look bad
